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Friday, August 12, 2005

FAQ

Millions saw the apple fall, but Newton asked why. ~Bernard Baruch

A lot of people ask me the same questions over and over again.
So here is a list of frequently asked questions and my ever enlightening responses:

  1. Why did you start a blog? I'd refer you to Stephanie Klein and JB. I was bored and I'm pretty freaking narcissistic.
  2. Are you in only child? You seem like an only child. No, I have three brothers, but sometimes I'm such a brat that I push and push until I get my way. My parents get annoyed and I get what I want.
  3. Where are you from? I tell people DC now, but technically Albany, New York. Yup it's cold and yes Albany is in New York and yes there are places north of Manhattan. idiot.
  4. How old are you? 21 1/2. Or almost to the end of my 21st year as Kim likes to say
  5. Why don't you want children? You're so good with them. I enjoy spending money on myself. I'm selfish. Although I recently started crying during a 60 minutes news story on why it's so hard for black children to get adopted. So I may adopt. I'm good with children because Jane's kids are normal, she pays me well and I get to do my laundry.
  6. Why don't you want to get married? I'm perfectly happy alone. Why fuck with that? Also, have you met my parents??
  7. Why do you live alone? Do you get lonely? I like to walk around naked, not do the dishes, not clean up in the bathroom, not make my bed and watch tv without being nagged about it. No I don't get lonely, I have a cell phone and instant messenger if I want to see people. But my Jam is going to change that!
  8. How much do you pay for a studio? $878. And let's be honest I don't pay it, my parents did.
  9. Who do you look up to most and why? Who the hell asks that?!? Besides Peggy Barmore (who I love and adore and she buys me things), Donna Brazile, and Oprah. And all of these fine women are google-able.
  10. Why did you decide to go to American University? Ithaca is too freaking cold. And I didn't want to go to school with people from high school. Also unlike GW, AU has a campus and I am mildly obsessed with DC.
  11. What was your major? Communications, Legal Institutions, Economics and Government. Yes I know that sounds interesting and possibly difficult, but not really.
  12. Where did you go abroad and why? I went to Madrid. George Bush was elected president for the second time. I couldn't leave the country fast enough
  13. What is your favorite city? Lisbon, Portugal. It's cheap and fun (sidenote: that was the best week EVER!) Sadly I was either too tired and/or hungover to remember the rest of portugal.
  14. What do your parents do? Who cares?!?! My mother works at a teachers union and my father is an instrumentation specicialst at General Electric. No I don't know what that is and he already knows that I really don't care.
  15. What was the last book you read? Who is your favorite author? What is your favorite book? Franny and Zooey. JD Salinger. East of Eden
  16. What do you want to be when you "grow up"? Although technically I am an adult and grown up now, I would like to be a United States Senator and upon retiring the United States Ambassador to the United Nations or Spain.
  17. How did you get your name? Not that my name is unusual or anything...but it was on the list as one of the Top 20 Whitest girl's names (my brother Garrett's name was on the list for the top 20 whitest male's names)...anyway...my father liked the name Heather. My mom wanted to name me Callie. I'm glad my father got what he wanted.
  18. Is your hair naturally curly? Are you kidding?!?!
  19. What is XYZ like in person? He or She is not my best friend and I don't spend all of my time with them. But for the record all of my bosses except one have been completely normal and nice in person. No I'm not telling you which was the out of touch one, but I think you can guess on your own.
  20. Is XYZ going to run for President? I watch CNN just like you. I have no secret insight.
  21. What is your favorite color? Pink. To be honest I started wearing it because a boy said that I looked really pretty in it. Later I found out that this boy was gay. But I still wear a lot of pink.

That's all I've got for now kids. Let me know if you have anymore questions and I'll try to come up with some sarcastic answer.

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