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Thursday, September 29, 2005

Awake

"I have a "carpe diem" mug and, truthfully, at six in the morning the words do not make me want to seize the day. They make me want to slap a dead poet." ~Joanne Sherman

*It’s morning (10 AM to be exact) and as of late, they haven’t been my best times. I’ve done my routine, have my Awake tea in front of me. But fuck, as of late, no time has been my best time, but I put on my happy face and act like everything is wonderful. How’s work? Great! How’s the living situation? Great! How have you been? Fucking fantastic!

Lies, all lies.

In all honesty, everything is fine really. Nothing is actually wrong, nothing bad has happened. It’s all normal same shit different day. Day in and day out. I had my weekend high, which was fabulous, but still, I’m stuck in a rut. It blows and leaves me feeling so incredibly uncreative and having a most difficult time getting up in the morning. You’d be shocked to learn though that I’ve been awaking at 6:15 AM to run and I’ve been on the “program” (which means that French fries, except for the five I had yesterday, have not been a part of my diet. Great, I know. But still, I’m just so blah.

Part of me finds that it has something to do with every other year, for the past 17 years, September comes and a new year starts with new shit happening everyday. That was the beauty of it all, so much happened in one day, that you can’t keep your head straight. There were vacations and midterms and finals and parties to look forward to. Shit, even the thought of my birthday was more exciting in years past than it has been this year. Every other year I’ve been that much closer to driving, or being able to vote or drinking, and now there’s not a damn thing to look forward to, oh wait, I can rent a car in a year. Woo Hoo!

I guess I could say ‘no pasa nada’ to it all and let it roll off my back. This too shall pass. But seriously a change needs to come, and soon. Like say if I were to meet everyone on Wisteria Lane, I’d be one happy happy girl.

*Addendum: Then coworkers crack my shit up (seriously I need a video camera) and all is right with the world. Same shit, but I should be thankful it's a nice calm same shit I feel.

2 Comments:

Blogger Lizzie said...

This is the secret to adulthood. I anticipated that the big challenge I'd have right after I graduated college would be the overwhelming responsibility (you mean I have to pay for an apartment even though it's smaller than my free (to me) dorm room was?!) No no no- the big challenge of being an adult is the overwhelming boredom. At least it was during that first year for me. (Let me get this right- in the real world there aren't houses inhabited by 2 dozen 20-something guys that give you and all your friends beer for free? Work isn't in 2 hour blocks twice a week? I have to go everyday, all day at the same time? I'm not encouraged to really think about things? You just want me to edit dozens of prospectuses by copying and pasting names and dates?) YAWN!

4:02 PM  
Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

hey - to have coworkers who crack your shit up isn't a bad thing at all! It's a start!

BTW - am loving your comments over my way. Hilarious.

4:31 PM  

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