To the Class of 2005
Class of 2005:
It has been four months since that fateful day of graduation and in the immortal words of Monica Gellar; “Welcome to the real world. You’re going to hate it”.
To those of you lucky enough to have found some sort of employment after your graduation. I applaud you. You now realize why your parents were always in a shitty mood when they got home from work and that try as you might, it’s impossible to live off of anything less than $60,000. But you’ll try like hell damn it; to learn how to budget and go without that fourth vodka tonic. Instead you’ll go with the $1 beers. And to those of you, who have yet to find gainful employment, let the good times roll. You may be bored and sick of asking mommy and daddy to revive your depleted bank account, but you know and they know that they can’t say “no”. I’m sure by now for all of you, the boredom has set in, but don’t feel too bad, because the grass isn’t always greener on the other side.
For almost 17 years you waited to graduate from college. Not just to be out from under your parent’s wing (and my, wouldn’t it be great to be back under there), but also to not be forced to go to class. Those of you from the Northeast know what I’m talking about. Waiting and praying for just a few snow days every year between November and April. Hoping the fluffy white stuff would come down and that the roads would be closed. Sigh- those are the days. There were also the numerous breaks-thanksgivings, Christmas, winter, spring-that kept you going throughout the year, knowing that soon, there would be a vacation. Now, sadly, you realize that there will be no more breaks. Sick days have to be calculated to the hour, so instead of getting that hacking cough checked out, you’ll suffer until you’ve accumulated the necessary nine hours to take a full day off of work.
There are moments when many of you will sit and think to yourself “this is hell” and “I didn’t go to college for this”, but remember that it will get worse, before it gets better. Hang in there and know this: karma is a bitch.
Good luck to you all; those with jobs and those without. For the latter group, you’ll find gainful employment and the joys of health insurance. For the former group, you better learn to enjoy it, because with the steady decline of social security, you will be working for the next 45 years.