Detox the Bitch
This is Scott. Scott plays for the Panthers. Scott is a loud motherfucker at 4AM. I know this for a fact, because he spent the weekend in my apartment, while I was too hungover to freak out that he plays for the Panthers and that he may have tackled a Barber (speaking of Barbers ummm 36-0. Awesome. Major digression there) Yet, hungover enough to be a complete whore, the entire weekend. Because that’s what a hangover does.
I’ve been irritable, restless and uneasy. It happens in times of change and this “change” has hit me like a big yellow school bus. I’ve coped by eating copious amounts of carbohydrates, pumpkin spice lattes and attempting to workout whenever I could get my lazy hungover ass to do so. I’m a fucking mess. Sad and pathetic really and not something that one should own up to. But I’m learning to deal with my faults and instead of getting more upset I’m trying to figure out how to change them.
Not only do I drink on a regular basis (and by drink, I mean an entire bottle of wine to myself in one evening) I do so in a way that’s unhealthy and I do things that I’m not proud of. I say things I shouldn’t have, I’ve punched friends, cried, fallen out of a shower, cried some more, and been your basic idiot. Wednesday night was awful and Thursday morning I felt it. Thursday night I drank more (obviously I no longer want my liver) and then almost fell in Union Station. Friday I gave blood (the poor poor individual that gets my blood also will end up with a blood alcohol level of .18) and after being warned to NOT drink for five hours, I had two glasses of wine before bed at 8pm. In turn, I was a surly bitch for most of the weekend.
Saturday evening, meant parties, including one with a former interest, that only proved to me that he tells everyone, EVERYTHING. As my reputation proceeded me, upon entering that apartment. I wanted him shot. Saturday evening was also full of “witches brew” and “jungle juice” that left me a hungover mess once again on Sunday. And ready for a change.
I am detoxing. Not just because of this past week, which while bad, I’ve had worse. But because I need it, my body needs it. I drank more alcohol last week than water. I ate more complex carbohydrates than fruits and vegetables. Do we see a pattern of complete self destruction here?
I realize that none of these things are that severe. But it is to me, and once I start worrying, then no one is safe. A detox, not just from alcohol but also from crappy foods. I’ve said it before, but my God do I mean it this time. This is ridiculous and I’m writing this completely furious that I’ve been so completely stupid. And we all know that nothing screams stupidity while driving while semi-intoxicated and eating crap food at the same time.
I need this. I’m smiling (albeit furious) because I’ve told myself that it’s time for a little change. I’m hoping (and praying) that the next three weeks help things improve. Because really I’m not feeling all too hot and I’m sure my diet of French fries, pasta, and cabernet sauvignon isn’t helping.