I attended Girl Scout camp for 13 years. I went to college in DC for four years. I went to Spain for study abroad. I’ve had six jobs/internships in the last four years. Despite all of these things, I don’t do new people. I don’t like change. Mind you, I make friends easily and I am relatively outgoing. It’s the anticipation that gets me and drives me into the ground. Anticipation that leads to anxiety as to whether or not I’ll do well or if so and so will like me or if I’ll like this new place that I have ended up.
I know that I cannot stop change and new things. Try as I might, that shit keeps coming and I keep bobbing and weaving, hoping to avoid a train wreck that is me completely fucking up, therefore causing others to dislike me. I may not be the person that “they” (whoever they are) were hoping to meet or to work with or to deal with. I stay in my own little comfort zones in order to keep myself from getting hurt.
Slowly though, I am starting to deal. It’s not like I’ve never endured change before or a new place before. I am re-navigating my way around DC, trying to find new places and new things (like the Whole foods with ALCOHOL on P street). Not thinking about what I come across. I want and must meet new people that aren’t part of my core group of friends that I went to college with. Must move on. Wednesday night I’ll be making a big step and meeting people who may absolutely despise me. This will be completely out of my normal comfort level. So far though, they relatively like me, but with this group, there are new dilemmas and questions of “so what do I call you in real life?” I’m getting nervous just thinking about it, but at least I know that we have one very similar thing in common. Well, two if you count a shared like/love of alcohol to be a similarity that will bring people together.