My blog has moved! Redirecting…

You should be automatically redirected. If not, visit and update your bookmarks.

Monday, October 31, 2005

Detox the Bitch

"When the wine goes in, strange things come out." ~Johann Christoph Friedrich von Schiller, The Piccolomini, 1799

This is Scott. Scott plays for the Panthers. Scott is a loud motherfucker at 4AM. I know this for a fact, because he spent the weekend in my apartment, while I was too hungover to freak out that he plays for the Panthers and that he may have tackled a Barber (speaking of Barbers ummm 36-0. Awesome. Major digression there) Yet, hungover enough to be a complete whore, the entire weekend. Because that’s what a hangover does.

I’ve been irritable, restless and uneasy. It happens in times of change and this “change” has hit me like a big yellow school bus. I’ve coped by eating copious amounts of carbohydrates, pumpkin spice lattes and attempting to workout whenever I could get my lazy hungover ass to do so. I’m a fucking mess. Sad and pathetic really and not something that one should own up to. But I’m learning to deal with my faults and instead of getting more upset I’m trying to figure out how to change them.

Not only do I drink on a regular basis (and by drink, I mean an entire bottle of wine to myself in one evening) I do so in a way that’s unhealthy and I do things that I’m not proud of. I say things I shouldn’t have, I’ve punched friends, cried, fallen out of a shower, cried some more, and been your basic idiot. Wednesday night was awful and Thursday morning I felt it. Thursday night I drank more (obviously I no longer want my liver) and then almost fell in Union Station. Friday I gave blood (the poor poor individual that gets my blood also will end up with a blood alcohol level of .18) and after being warned to NOT drink for five hours, I had two glasses of wine before bed at 8pm. In turn, I was a surly bitch for most of the weekend.

Saturday evening, meant parties, including one with a former interest, that only proved to me that he tells everyone, EVERYTHING. As my reputation proceeded me, upon entering that apartment. I wanted him shot. Saturday evening was also full of “witches brew” and “jungle juice” that left me a hungover mess once again on Sunday. And ready for a change.

I am detoxing. Not just because of this past week, which while bad, I’ve had worse. But because I need it, my body needs it. I drank more alcohol last week than water. I ate more complex carbohydrates than fruits and vegetables. Do we see a pattern of complete self destruction here?

I realize that none of these things are that severe. But it is to me, and once I start worrying, then no one is safe. A detox, not just from alcohol but also from crappy foods. I’ve said it before, but my God do I mean it this time. This is ridiculous and I’m writing this completely furious that I’ve been so completely stupid. And we all know that nothing screams stupidity while driving while semi-intoxicated and eating crap food at the same time.

I need this. I’m smiling (albeit furious) because I’ve told myself that it’s time for a little change. I’m hoping (and praying) that the next three weeks help things improve. Because really I’m not feeling all too hot and I’m sure my diet of French fries, pasta, and cabernet sauvignon isn’t helping.


Blogger the belligerent intellectual said...

I have an irrational fear of falling out of the shower. I know that's not the point of the post, but yeah. It sounds as bad as I fear it would be.

11:37 PM  
Blogger Sub Girl said...

i have a fear of falling on the metro tracks at stations! and, if it's any comfort, i drank too much at work yesterday and almost fell over and passed out on the metro. le sigh. i tell myself it's all part of growing up, heather!

8:57 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

BI-I never get the point of posts, and usually I don't care and I just comment on random points. Anyway....falling out of the shower was so fucking embarrassing and it hurt and it was in a hotel which creeps me out to this day. yuck.

SG-I've almost fallen in metro multiple times while drunk. again, very embarrassing.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Mappy B said...

I've passed out in a shower before, fell completely out of it. I guess the heat and steam got to me. I woke up half on the floor, my leg still on the edge of the tub and the water still running. Luckily, no one was home to find me there. Then again, what if I had hit my head and was there forever?! It's a scary thing to do. I fear for people that even step too close to the oncoming metro, those nubs on the ground. Yikes. I'm a wuss though.

12:08 PM  
Blogger lorie said...

The Barbers are from my hometown, and are just about the nicest guys ever.

Now I'll go read the rest of the post. :)

1:14 PM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

It must have something to do with being 22. I spent most of the year I was 22 drunk, and not always the good kind of drunk; sometimes the "drink a whole bottle of wine on my couch by myself" kind of drunk. Just something we have to do I guess. You get over it though.

p.s. pumpkin spiced lattes = gross!

1:25 PM  
Blogger Namaste said...

Good for you. Sometimes we have to hit that wall before we find our way over it.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Sharkbait said...

I have fallen down the escalators once, and trust me-that's all it takes. It was horrible (someday I will type it all out), but man oh man, the metro stations can be some scary things when sober or drunk.

PS Sadly, I was sober.. :-(

4:38 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Lorie-if you know the Barbers or if they come home. Tell me. I will probably bow down to Tiki because have you seen that man run?? Him and Eli Manning make a great pair.

Lizzie-how dare you blast Pumpkin Spice Lattes! But really I only use them as a precursor to the Gingerbread ones.

Seriously though, I'm proud of myself for noticing that I did hit a wall and maybe I should ummm stop for about 30 seconds. My poor poor liver

4:50 PM  
Blogger wunelle said...

I experienced the turmoil and abasement vicariously thru a family member. Your post is excruciating, in a second-hand sort of way.

5:18 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

do you mean excrutiating in an "oh my god this is complete shit and why am I reading this?" kind of way? Or in a "oh my god, why are you giving up alcohol you stupid fool?" kind of way?

If it's the former, then you are my first mean comment. I have arrived.

6:02 PM  
Blogger darlin nikki said...

halloween drinking eluded me this year, but i more than made up for it last year with the all nite blackout from some crazy bloody redbull punch. oh why can't i just pass out and get drawn upon? :) breaks r good when u choose them.

12:23 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.