...No instead we'll begin with the fact that I've just discovered that my pimp name is (drumroll please) Deacon Dr. H Wicked. Word.
…Let’s begin with the chick walking down Constitution today with her winter coat, Uggs and (wait for it) white linen skirt. Because obviously it’s not November and 45 mother fucking degrees outside. Nope, nice and warm here in our nation’s capital. I wanted to reach out to her and say “Honey, not everyone can be Sienna Miller”. Poor girl.
…Now let’s say you’re a 25 almost 26 year old, only child, who recently lost a job, but then found a new one, and spent all of your money on drinks instead of the electric bill…would you be walking around (at damn near 30) acting like a seven year old and barking at the lovely Zen filled happy person that is your roommate? Or giving your roommate the silent treatment? I’m just wondering if this happens to all people once they get close to 30 or if I’m just really this fortunate to have this extra special person to myself.
…Let’s also say that at random your one year old cell phone keeps randomly powering off and saying that there’s a battery problem, even though you charged the fucking phone last night. So now you are forced to drive to umm Rockville or some crazy shit like that in order to get it fixed.
…And how about being treated like an inept retard everyday, but thankfully you’ve finally gotten over people and their inability to act like human beings. It’s weird, because there was a time when I would’ve gotten all upset but now I kind of just look at people while they’re freaking out and say “ok” then walk away and kind of laugh about it later, because seriously people, nothing is ever that serious.
…Then there’s rampant simony and nepotism and well that’s never something that you can do about that
…And finally, suppose that you have an awesome mother who suggests coming down to beat up the person that you abhor, but since that is illegal in 50 states and the District of Columbia, she suggests a VooDoo doll. She’ll supply the pins.
And this kids, is a reason for why Bitches are Whack. Happy Friday and Happy Weekend.