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Tuesday, November 01, 2005

There is No Food and I have yet to see Laguna

The first thing I received when I walked into work today (besides the typical standing ovation, because Hello! I am awesome) was a check from Gables Residential to me, for $550. This was by far the best thing to ever happen to me. Even better than I suspect having children or finding my soul mate could ever be, because, now I can pay the lovely people of Pepco. God is good. Last night after my whirl wind day of Marathon funeral-ing, I received Washingtonian and a refund check from Verizon.

I’m of the mindset that little things can make me happy or sad. I let them affect my mood and really I’m not caring too much anymore. But whatever, this isn’t a time for seriousness, this is time for me to ramble, because I’m so fucking busy with work, that I only have time for incessant rambling (even though I do have a cache of posts to use, I’d prefer to have “cognitive diarrhea”-my new favorite phrase).

Now watch me jinx myself. Things at work are getting better. Not that they were bad in the first place, I’m just such a neurotic freak that I blow things way out of proportion. I haven’t cried in about two weeks. And haven’t had a cigarette in about three weeks. Now you may pat me on the back. I’ve actually learned to semi stay on top of things and do things without being asked. I think we can agree that this was a common goal for me and my coworkers. It has almost been achieved.


Speaking of work and coworkers, we’re big on snacks here. As in, God forbid that you’ve run out of snacks before 6 PM. The apocalypse will come true. Hell hath no fury like a woman without snacks. I kid you not, I will kill you for that piece of chocolate. I just had a 20 minute conversation about what would be better than the fucking cashews right now. Like, a pizza, a burrito, chips and guacamole, chocolate mousse, the chocolate fountain with the endless dippers. But no, here I sit with cashews and I’ve just inhaled a bag of cherry tomatoes. I need some fucking food. The only thing I have to look forward to right now is the pumpkin spice latte I’m treating myself to. I just got a check for $50, I deserve a pumpkin spice latte to salute verizon.

At what point do one’s eyes seriously get stuck in the back of one’s head? I’m trying to figure this out because oh my God Lumbergh man. Just Lumbergh. That’s all I’m saying on the matter.

Why the fuck is Wicked sold out until 2006? I have tickets for February. But sadly in place of seeing Wicked in NY (oh I’m going to the city-I can say “the city” because I am from NY and there is no other city-for shits and giggles) I will be getting serviced at Bliss Spa. So in reality I wasn’t forced to make such a huge decision. We all know what happens when I’m forced to make decisions. I mean recall, the Coach incident, in which I had REAL tears.

And finally, because I know that you’re anxiously awaiting an end to this shit. Meeting (and I hate this word) “blogebrities” is only cool to other bloggers and JB, because she can be as ri-cock-ulous as I am. Peg doesn’t care. Peg only thinks that these people (read: YOU PEOPLE) may kill me one day. But oh, that’s sweet; she really doesn’t want to get rid of me.

12 Comments:

Blogger Lizzie said...

So we're trading phrases. I give unto you "cognitive diarrhea" and will be taking "ri-cock-ulous" for myself. I love it!

6:12 PM  
Blogger allison said...

I read about the Coach incident, and all I can say is you poor poor thing. You are a much stronger person than I and my sassy little pink iPod died too. Poo.

6:58 PM  
Blogger MKD said...

If you want to sell your Wicked tix, then I could totally take them off of your hands. I'm nice like that.

PS Go you for the no smoking thing. You have more balls than I do.

10:58 PM  
Blogger darlin nikki said...

yea cash $$$ !! *pats on back* damn if i haven't gained ten pounds since starting my latest office job-there's a candy bowl right on the way to the copy machine and bathroom. pure evol.

12:28 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Lizzie-sharing means caring :-)

Allison-it was very sad about the whole thing. I'm glad that people out there feel for me

MKD-oh thanks, aren't you kind, but sadly I will be keeping my 2006 Wicked tickets. I can't believe I have to wait that fucking long

Nikki-I'm excited about the cash and so jealous that you had actual real life chocolate in your office.

9:06 AM  
Blogger wunelle said...

No chocolate will be found within, say, a 20 foot radius of my person at any time. Luckily for me, I work around a gaggle of skinny minnies who don't miss it.

Poor suckers.

9:51 AM  
Blogger Sub Girl said...

we're big on snacks here too. my coworker has a candy jar, and you know i visit that like multiple times a day.

and you.must.watch.latest.laguna!

11:13 AM  
Blogger Sharkbait said...

Candy dishes are in abundance here. Only magnified by Halloween.

I swear, self restraint is hard when there is a candy dish in front of you. Unless they themselves have been tempted, nobody will understand!

12:37 PM  
Blogger Mabel said...

God I want to see wicked. Perhaps before I'm 90.

Know what will make you feel REALLY good? Sign that little ole check over to me :)

http://mabelsmuse.typepad.com

12:39 PM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

There is no possible way your bloggerati could kill you. a) you are far too entertaining and b) as your fellow overindulger, I need a partner in crime at these things. Hence, I will personally see to it that your kept very safe...

12:40 PM  
Blogger Megarita said...

Oooooh I'm waiting for a check myself! I hope your good vibes are transferable...

12:44 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Thankfully today is full of a lot of snacks, like tomatoes and an apple (damn it!)

DCC I'm glad to have you around and if you protect me, I'll protect you and then we'll drink a million and one martinis.

Let there be money vibes for everyone.

1:41 PM  

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