My blog has moved! Redirecting…

You should be automatically redirected. If not, visit and update your bookmarks.

Friday, December 16, 2005


"Oh, wouldn't the world seem dull and flat with nothing whatever to grumble at? " ~W.S. Gilbert

Oh blovers, I’m torn. On the one hand it’s a Friday and that means that some whack bitches need to be called out. On the other hand, I could write solely about my drunk misadventures of last which may or may not include: four vodka cranberries at Pearl, two hot buttered rums at a friends party, losing the back to my phone (I dropped it because I was drunk and Verizon doesn’t like that), crying in the middle of U Street because I waited in the rain for 30 fucking minutes for a cab, breaking my umbrella (because I threw it at a cab), and Ben’s chili bowl. And if say, I were to have three hands, I could write about how I finished my Christmas shopping and that I have amazing parents who have mastered putting up with an array of my shit.

So, what is a girl to do?

Or finally, I could redirect you to This Isn’t Education: The Greatest Hits of HB and you will realize that I do have some incendiary wit up in my head and I can in fact, write an actual sentence that doesn’t mention the word cunt.

I’m at a loss. I won’t tire you with my weekend plans, but they do include, teaching young Noah how to say misanthrope and cabernet sauvignon (I’ll be sure not to use the ‘c’ word in front of the child) and a requisite trip to Drinx and Indebleu.

It’s the holidays friends. Alcohol is in the air and I won’t worry about psoriasis of the liver until January 2nd.


Blogger Nicole said...

Gush. I'm jealous you get to see that adorable butterstick of a baby in person.

3:35 PM  
Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Pfft. What's the use of a sentence if it doesn't have the word "cunt" in it?

3:39 PM  
Blogger Namaste said...

love it. love your bawfs. you bawf the best.

4:56 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Nicole: yes, the child is butterstick goodness, who will grow up to be brilliant and start sentences with "dude" and eat at fabulous 5 star restaurants.

RC: Let's see how many times I can use the word cunt in the next 24 hours. I will make a list and post for all to see. That there was number one. ::insert maniacal laughter here::

Namaste: You're bawftastic. And this is why we're meant to be together. You cook, I'll bawf.

5:02 PM  
Blogger Tanisha said...

You are a nut job woman!! I miss reading your blog it fucking makes my day and I laugh my ass off at it!! Hmmm education in deed. And be careful with that bloody liver of yours..T

11:02 PM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

Time to spike that eggnog latte methinks.

Sounds like a fun weekend!

9:21 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

T: I miss reading your blog too. I miss reading everyone's blog. Doing actual work sucks. blah.

LisaB: ooooh good idea. Nothing says "Have a good day" like Bourban in the morning.

9:01 PM  
Blogger Namaste said...

I keep having these dreams in Spanish, and I keep saying 'no pasa nada'. It's one of my favorite phrases in Spanish.

Just felt like sharing.


10:53 AM  
Blogger Sub Girl said...

bawf on, bawf on.

1:05 PM  
Blogger tree said...

Hi Heather,
It's been a rough couple of weeks. And finally I can check out a blog that's just stress free and relaxing.

Happy holidays,

5:17 PM  
Blogger MKD said...

I love you. My make me laugh. With you. Yeah. WITH you.

12:03 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home

Creative Commons License
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 2.5 License.