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Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Make the bad thoughts go away...

Have I mentioned that I have a deep rooted fear that if I talk about something I really want, then I'm always freaked out that I won't get it? Por ejemplo (it sounds cooler than 'for example') last year when I found out the possibility of me working on the campaign. I told no one and subsequently spent 24 hours peeing on myself and thinking of the possibilities. I would have cried if I hadn't gotten that job. Though because I told NO ONE about it, I got it. See how it works? But right now what I really want more than anything is something that I cannot. CANNOT. have right now. Therefore, if I write about it and say it out loud then I obviously won't get it. I'll cry, but I'll still be gainfully employed and not forced to go through a rigorous application process. Here's my secret...

More than anything in the world right now, more than finding a boyfriend, getting ass, a new vaio for christmas, a raise...I want to do Teach for America and then get my Master's in education policy.

There, I said it. You can all laugh and make fun of me now and wonder what the fuck I'd do with that, but I have my reasons. None of which I want to get into right now, but there you have it. I'm a do-gooder who is obsessed with the state of public education and how mind-blowingly unfair it can be.

Umm, ok, that's all. Back to your regularly scheduled stories about me being a bitch. To be fair though, if you're a bitch to me, I'll be a bitch back. Smooches.

p.s. this might be my last post for awhile, as I attempt to get over the fact that I just said that outloud for the 'world' to see and read and make fun of me about. shit.


Blogger Kris said...

WTF? This is a stellar pursuit! There is no reason you can't do wonderful things and keep your day job as a bitch. I've done it quite successfully.

I think it's a great idea!

7:22 PM  
Blogger Noisette said...

Dude. Those are very admirable goals, both of them. And I hear you with the "Murphy's Law" but it seems to me that you have affirmative control over whether these things happen. Don't worry. It's what you want. It will happen for you.

8:39 PM  
Blogger Mappy B said...

Hell no - there is NOTHING crazy about that goal. I'll tell you a secret too. I want to do the Peace Corps. I know it will never work out, but I had filled out the paperwork, and never sent it in. I'm proud of you for actually knowing something you want to do, and if you even take 1 step closer to doing it, that's awesome. It's all about being passionate about SOMEthing, and if you follow up on that passion, you can't go wrong.

9:58 PM  
Blogger Erika said...

I feel the same way...if you talk about something it won't happen or come true. It sucks.

I don't think anybody's going to make fun of you. But have you read Teacher Kerri?

8:42 AM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

You are braver than I am. Whenever I say out loud what I want, well you can guess what happens. NADA Baby!

I once had a friend say to me after she got engaged, "My life is perfect." I wanted to slap her silly but I also knew what she meant. But a part of me does think she "tempted the universe" cause it's been less than perfect ever since...

Best of luck on your goals!!!

9:04 AM  
Blogger MKD said...

I don't understand? We have No Child Left Behind already. Duh.

10:14 AM  
Blogger Namaste said...

a nobel and wonderful pursuit. and no reason why you cannot do it. we need good people like you doing things they believe in.

read "The Alchemist" by Paolo Coelho. I have a feeling it will move you.


10:17 AM  
Blogger Isabel said...

It's okay to share your goals. And don't worry, we won't make fun of you for doing so!

There is nothing wrong with teaching. Nothing at all. The world needs better teachers. Good for you!!

Keep us posted (if you dare).

10:44 AM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

Exactly...why on earth would we make fun of you?? In fact, goals like that make the rest of us tuck our tails between our legs and sulk in a corner for our lack of more noble aspirations...

10:55 AM  
Blogger Sharkbait said...

I agree with Cookie...what do you mean make fun of you.

I think it's great, and I admire that, because it's something I myself could never do..for various reasons.

Go for it, and now that you said it outloud, maybe it will push you that much further towards it?

11:02 AM  
Blogger Sub Girl said...

bravo. you can do it.

11:54 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I didn't really think that y'all would make fun of me, but some would see that as a "crazy" goal, so thanks for your support!
And now that I've 'announced' it, I suppose I'm going to have to follow through. shit.

1:51 PM  
Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Hey, that's a way more sane goal than mine. (Move to Cairo, become a star!) :)

Embrace it; go for it.

4:20 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

RC: if there is a Teach for Cairo? Then I'm totally with you. We can ride camels to school.

6:06 PM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

I think that sounds like a great goal. Go for it.

6:07 PM  
Blogger ocg said...

I agree with you. that's why I have a girlfriend that will always say things like, "Don't get into an accident on the way home... see I jinxed it now it won't happen."

I hope that covered me for today... come to think of it...

6:46 PM  
Blogger tree said...

Smoochie smooch.

I like that word.

12:54 AM  
Blogger Beth said...

Things aren't going to go your way all the time, regardless of whether you say them out loud or not. I totally understand though. If I 'm dating a guy I really like I won't tell anyone about him too early on in case I jinx it.

Those are really admirable goals though! At least you have some!!

3:19 AM  

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