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Thursday, December 15, 2005

Rhymes with Witch

"When angry, count four; when very angry, swear." ~Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson, 1894

In case you’re just joining us today, let it be known that sometimes I can be a bitch. This is usually manifests itself by way of me calling people cunts and assholes. Unfortunately (or I guess fortunately to some), I’ve been having to hold my tongue in certain sensitive situations whereas before I would’ve had no problem going up to someone and saying “You’re being a stupid whorish cunt right now. So stop”. Instead I use profanity in the presence of those who I know I can trust, or I stare blankly at the offender and in my head think “I really hope you get hit by a car”. After a recent situation, where I was tempted to punch someone in the face, I was told that what I need to do is find my ‘inner ghetto black girl’ and not be afraid to put one in their place. While I wholeheartedly agree that many people I encounter need a good talking to or manners, because obviously their parents forgot to teach them about common sense, I fear that if I do release my inner ghetto girl, that she’ll be a terror and never go back in. But then again, I won’t know for sure, until I let her out.
And trust me; she’s not going to be able to be suppressed much longer.

2 Comments:

Blogger DC Cookie said...

I'm always blown away when you talk about being a bitch. Guess I haven't had the fortune of seeing it. You're always beaming and pleasant around me (perhaps it's our drinking tendencies??)

11:28 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

because everytime I see you I'm three sheets to the wind. I'm a nice drunk. Also, I'm not around you everyday, so by the time I see you, I'm usually pretty happy to see you. Therefore you are spared my evil ways.

11:50 AM  

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