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Thursday, December 15, 2005

This Isn't Education

*Subtitled: HB's Greatest Hits. But if I did have a greatest hits album, it would be titled
"This Isn't Education (It's History. It's Poetry)" . It's a take on my favorite passage from one of my all time favorite books. If you can name the book, then you have attained a new level of awesomeness.

Like most in their mid-20’s coming out with Greatest Hits albums (a la Britney Spears), I figured I would do the same.
Here are some oldies but goodies.
I should also say that after reading through stuff over the past five months, I realized that I might be one of the least entertaining people ever. To those of you that have stuck around, I thank you. For those of you who are just joining us, you can’t say I didn’t warn you. Because really, no one wants to relive there first year out of college, but whatever; I'll totally support your masochistic tendencies.

  1. It's all about me
  2. Alcohol isn't the only thing that puts a smile on my face
  3. Right up there with clowns and decapitation
  4. How to please me
  5. Contrary to popular belief, I do have friends
  6. "Jaded and Cynical"
  7. Touch the 'fro and die
  8. Eating is considered a hobby
  9. I used to have imaginary friends, this? is nothing
  10. It's our problem free, philosophy
  11. Misanthropy is a virtue


Blogger Mappy B said...

sounds like a little salinger? or, perhaps, to kill a mockingbird? i can't remember which book. i have so many books that i want to go back and read. perhaps i should start a nerdy blogging book club. thanks for the greatest hits link! you could always title your book 'the miseducation of heather b.' haha...

3:51 PM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

I feel so uneducated. what's the book?? I'm dying to know.

4:50 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

The book is Catcher in the Rye.

I hope you all enjoy my "I have nothing interesting to write about, so read my archives and make fun of me" post.


4:55 PM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

d'oh! I should have known that.

5:38 PM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

Good stuff!

5:45 PM  
Blogger babyjewels said...

Nothing to make fun of there. You write beautifully and really let people get a glimpse of you. Kudos.

5:51 PM  
Blogger Neil said...

downloading your great hits album to my iPod right now...

12:17 AM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

I forgot to mention, I find you EXTREMELY entertaining!

9:28 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I bet y'all can't wait for the MTV Unplugged version. I smell a grammy.

9:47 AM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

Hope you sent some of those to Kris too for her 'best of '05.'

11:07 AM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

Don't be too anxious for the grammy. Because you know after that there's the inevitable "and then things went horribly wrong" on VHI's Behind the Music, er, Behind the Blog.

11:17 AM  
Blogger Bone said...

Nice titles.

I'm with Lizzie. Can't wait for your Blogspot: Behind The Blog special.

11:42 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

my behind the blog special will be great. I'll have stringy hair and be strung out on crack, and will have lost my life savings to my $5.5 million dollar home in Malibu. It'll be awesome.

Yes I'm submitting to Kris, because apparently, I cannot hide from her.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

first of all, Bone I so misread "nice titles." definitely did a double-take.

second, HB, you have to come up with a phrase akin to "crack is whack" for your Behind the Blog special. Also, can I please be interviewed on it? I can be one of those "I knew her when" people. please?? ooh, I can't wait!

1:40 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

"Famous Titties for $300 Alex"

This is my sad attempt at making my comments section as compelling as yours. Sadly, I doubt it will work.

1:50 PM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

what are you talking about?

Bone said you have a nice rack, well, almost said that. And I'm looking forward to your crack addiction so I can be interviewed on VH1. Sexual harrassment and drug addictions in one comments section? I don't think it gets much more interesting than that.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Mappy B said...

snl sean connery: "i'll take 'the rapists' for $500 trebeck."

trebeck: "i'm sorry, but the category is 'therapists'"

your post just reminded me of that snl skit imitating sean connery. cracks me up. my blog/typepad is down today, so i am living vicariously through other bloggers.

2:04 PM  
Blogger Bone said...

Oh Mappy, I LOVE that skit!!! Wish I could watch it now.

I had to scroll back up and make sure I didn't type titties. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

6:11 PM  

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