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Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Just the Beginning

"Life is a series of collisions with the future." ~José Ortega y Gasset

I’m notorious for just not speaking to people anymore; those that were my “best friends” in middle school and high school, hell, even in college, I’ve randomly just stopped speaking to. It’s not like anything actually happened, but we’ve just moved on and I’m really fucking good at moving on and leaving those from my former life behind. Obviously something I need to work on, but that’s not the point, the point is these massive changes can happen to my friends and I’m left in the dark. Though, I totally deserve it, and they deserve good things to happen to them, I’m still conflicted. Not jealous, but this whole getting older thing is weird.

Over New Year’s my best friend, who I still spend every New Year’s Eve with, came out to me. We still speak pretty regularly and I had asked her about it last year as her girlfriend (now ex-girlfriend) and I are also friends, but still when she told me, I got pissed, because she lied, and then had to process this information. It’s not that she’s gay, I could give a shit, it’s that she lied about it and then never mentioned again until we were drunk and playing kings. But then again, I totally deserve her keeping me in the dark. My idea of ‘speaking regularly’ is once every 3-5 months. I hate the phone and I don’t like going backwards.

A few hours ago, during my ritual, ‘let’s check out everyone’s AIM profiles and procrastinate time’ I learned that my best friend from Middle School just got engaged. ENGAGED. A person, I’ve known since I was 11. The person who helped me plot against Emily Haines and her crazy ass mother in the 9th grade, is now engaged. Engaged to the boy she started dating in the 10th grade. Obviously a long time coming, but I couldn’t help but sit here wide eyed and think this is how it begins. We did the usual small talk, about life. Her grandmother’s sudden death and my father’s near death in the beginning of the summer. Then quickly moved on to me. No, nothing is going on, just work. Nope, no boys. Not even a thought. Definitely not getting any, but thanks, thanks for asking.

This is how it starts, isn’t it? One friend gets engaged, then suddenly they’re all engaged and asking me whether or not I’ve found a special someone (ok, please God, don’t let them use the phrase special someone, or else I might vomit). I’ll be here alone in DC with my cats. Me and my fucking cats; feigning happiness when friend number 239 tells me about her new platinum engagement ring from Tiffany’s. Just what she always wanted. I’m rolling my eyes now. When I start seeing sonogram photos of little Billy in 4D sucking his thumb; God please forgive me now from running away screaming and/or telling my friend to please shut the fuck up. I see myself enjoying many glasses of wine, and smiling broadly, while saying “How cuuuuuute” and keeping my upchuck reflex in check. Because that’s just what friends do.

13 Comments:

Blogger Isabel said...

It's hard to be a "friend" to people. Especially as we all get older and our lives take different directions. I've had to "break up" with a ton of friends in my life who just didn't make the cut to be a part of my life.

And I agree...it sucks to hear about people's engagement rings and babies. Blah.

Drink more wine.

11:40 AM  
Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

I just have one very important question about all of this: how do you play kings?

12:34 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

we were playing Kings and I think 10 was "never have I ever". And that particular time it was "never have I ever had sex at girl scout camp". Those who had had sex at girl scout camp, drank, including the one who was coming out, as she had had sex at girl scout camp with another friend of ours in the room.

Some parent is going to read this and flip their shit when they find out there are *gasp* lesbians having sex at girl scout camp. But yes, it happens. A lot.

(I can't believe I just wrote that)

12:46 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

don't worry heather, i'll always be there for you with no babies and no engagment rings...but, of course, several bottles of wine;)
<3 your va buddy

1:25 PM  
Blogger Namaste said...

She'll be divorced in 3 years and you'll still be fabulous. Don't worry.

2:00 PM  
Blogger green_canary said...

I've found that making things up is more fun than the truth. Now when people ask, I reply, "What have I been up to? Well, not too much... I haven't had a lot of free time since I got back from my charity golf tour with Ginuwine and the Olsen twins."

3:41 PM  
Blogger Bone said...

Well I can tell you that yes, this is indeed how it begins. I'm ten years into it. One by one they all get engaged. Married. Some have babies. Some get divorced.

Or I could lie. But I can't think of a good one right now.

Now. Don't you feel better.

PS: I think you should write a girl scout camp tell-all book. I could be your editor.

PPS: I don't think I have an AIM profile. I'll have to look into that.

3:54 PM  
Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

Yes, this is basically how it goes. I had a rash of weddings (and yes, they were a RASH) back in 2002/2003, and now the babies are dropping. I'm sure there'll be another wave of weddings in the next couple of years as well, as some of my friends close in on 30.

All I can say is, hope that they either elope or get married far enough away that you have an excuse not to go. I've only been to a couple of weddings that were genuinely FUN - the rest were a drag and had "obligation" written all over them.

5:06 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I feel like my 30's are going to be really fucking awesome

::insert rolling eyes/middle finger here::

Oh and Bone, I may not write a book about GS Camp, but I will write a tell all post. There were lesbians and sexual harrassment lawsuits. Interesting is the word you're looking for here.

5:17 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Yeah... I've done that with a few of my friends, it's typically when our conversations start to go "hey what's up?" "not much" "uhhh"...

And as for the engagement thing, I am so in that boat already. It's a casualty of living in the south, most of my friends are under the age of 23 and all are already married or engaged to be married in the next few months. It rocks.

I lied. It does not, in fact, rock.

5:34 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

By 'rocks' you mean, 'eats a big fucking shit sandwhich'...duh.

5:39 PM  
Anonymous stephanie said...

Oh yeah, I hear ya. I've got six friends/family getting married in the next five months, although only four I need to go to. And just found out today that there's another one that I may possibly have to go to in September. (It's across the country... we'll see.)

Also, two without definite dates already in the planning stages for summer '07. Good lord.

1:11 AM  
Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

ahhh, but then they'll all be moving to the suburbs and doing housewifery things, envious of you and your jet-setting urban life. Live it and love it Heather!

11:53 AM  

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