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Monday, January 23, 2006

Just so you know, it's always about me

In general I have a difficult time with narcissism. I don’t like talking about myself because I feel like I have nothing interesting to say and most of the time, I do things for my benefit not so that others can say ‘wow, what a great job’. Anyway, I received an email from a new reader, who asked more about me, because I’m too cheap to move to Typepad (which I am now seriously considering once again), I don’t have an “about page”, but instead a profile. So who am I not to submit to the requests of my few, but loyal readers? (I’m also bored and you people get a lot of crap when I’m bored and/or procrastinating).

Ok, so um, Hi! My name is Heather and I often say ‘Hi’ excitedly, but only to people I like or if I’m being super fake, which I am pretty damn good at. I am originally from Upstate, NY, where yes, I am quite aware that it is fucking freezing; thus the escape move from NY to Washington, DC in 2001. There was also that whole college thing, but I sum that up as my parents investing $140,000 in my learning to hold up to six shots of vodka and two beers, without puking. Surprisingly enough, I graduated in May of 2005 from American University, with a complicated degree (and I can't even find my diploma) and now I have a kick ass job, with a kick ass boss, but I will never make any money. Ever. At least not until I’m well into my 40’s.

This was intended for my friends and family, but instead they expressed their disinterest in my life and so now strangers read my thoughts and my mother (whom I refer to by first name, like three times a week) gets upset when I say fuck and my aunt thinks that I need prayer. I probably do, but whatever. And so now I spend my spare time writing about how much it sucks to be 22 and that, the real world, which I am now inhabiting isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Either way, I like my job and I’m slowly gaining my footing and learning to budget and not flip my shit when the Pepco bill is $200.

Most of the time I hate everything I write, but then there are those few moments when I really don’t give a shit. I can be mean, sarcastic, pretentious and bitchy; and though I probably deserve it, please don’t be mean back, because I’m also sensitive. I believe strongly in the power of Coach, Aveda hair products, Lush and a good pair of size 11 shoes from Nordstrom (you know, if you’d like to buy me things). I talk a lot about my mom, exhaustion, the gym, how much I spend at Trader Joe’s and alcohol. If you don’t like any of those things, well then you’re shit out of luck. I also swear a lot and enjoy using the term “asshat”.

No Pasa Nada, is a Spanish phrase to mean nothing is happening/everything is copasetic. Much like “Hakuna Matata”, it means no worries, and it’s something I strive for everyday, even when I’m crying over my Coach bags. I feel like my 20’s might be the longest decade ever, and as much as I complain now, I will inevitably be sad when it’s over. So for now, I’m just trying to enjoy the ride, without completely falling off.

I encourage emails ( telling me how awesome I am and that I am the greatest thing since sliced bread. Or if you‘d just like to de-lurk and say hi, please do. Other than that; enjoy!

site designed by BabyJewels. Though she may hate you, she loves me.


Blogger babyjewels said...

Heather, you will miss your twenties, but dare I say you'll miss your thirties more. I'm about too miss mine in the not too distant future. Can I borrow that coach bag to cry in?

(oh another shout out? you shouldn't have. but thanks)

6:43 PM  
Blogger Kris said...

and i love you both. :)

10:22 PM  
Blogger janet said...

I am delurking to say that I am majorly jealous that you are Amalah's babysitter and if you ever get sick or something, can I be your understudy or something? :)

11:00 PM  
Blogger Namaste said...

I miss 22.


I wish I could be you. You are much more together than I was at 22.

I miss being 23, too. Damn, that was a good time.

12:03 AM  
Blogger Hey Pretty said...

dear, slice bread has nothing on you. and your 20's will be over before you can even realize you've entered them. promise.

9:58 AM  
Blogger wunelle said...

The only thing worse than your 20s is the realization when you're 40 that they're way the fuck behind you and they ain't comin' back. So give 'em up kicking and screaming.

Just my advice.

(And you're SO fab! ;-)

10:56 AM  
Blogger Isabel said...

I don't remember really loving being 22. But looking back...I had a blast. It was good to not have the demands on life like I do now. But it sounds like you have those demands. Dude, it sucks to be a grown up. I mean...SUCKS balls!!!

11:43 AM  
Blogger Tanisha said...

Girl I am still laughing because I feel the same way. All of my high school friends except one have children and me and the other girl doesn't and my mom is harrassing me about having babies. You are going to be 30 this year she says don't you think it is time to settle down?

Shit what does being thirty have to do with it?

4:21 PM  
Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

I wear a size 11 too. And I too like Nordstrom. I think this means you should share your shoes with me. Yep that's exactly what it means.

3:39 PM  
Blogger Unsane said...

Heyho! You are so young. I didn't think they made them this young.

6:25 AM  

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