It started off at 5:30 AM actually make that 5:20 AM when I hit the snooze. I’ve been waking at this obscene ass crack of dawn hour to go to the gym everyday this week. That is except for Saturday and Sunday when I got up at 8:30 AM. I think the word you’re looking for here is ‘motherfucker’.
I couldn’t find my bra. At 8 AM not being able to find one’s bra already blows, but at 5:30 AM, I’m as disgruntle as a postal office worker five days before christmas. Wandering around my room saying “fuck”.
So at 5:45 AM, lunch packed, gym bag, fail proof outfit (gray pants, purple cashmere sweater, white cami, fuck me boots), and my work shit, I’m out the door; with my crappy ass sports bra and yes, I do look like someone’s Mamie. Spend the 15 minute walk to the gym, swearing that if anyone looked at me funny, they’d have my foot so far up their ass, that when they opened their mouth, people would see my perfectly pedicured toes. Also think about Zach from American Idol last night. Zach who is a boy, but looked very much like a female. Laugh the rest of the way to the gym.
Best. Workout. All. Week.
8 AM work, with fail proof outfit and perfectly formed coif and in a perfectly wonderful mood. I’m giving it until 10:15 AM when I will turn back into disgruntle post office worker Heather, who has no problem rolling her eyes and giving the finger.