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Tuesday, February 07, 2006

Be It Resolved

"Manners are a sensitive awareness of the feelings of others. If you have that awareness, you have good manners, no matter which fork you use. " ~Emily Post

Subtitled: More inane thoughts from a naïve 22 year old; who thinks she knows everything. You are so very welcome.

I know it’s February. I am very well aware, what, with the 60 degree weather in all. But that’s beside the point.

So why don’t you get to the point?

I am, so chill the fuck out.

I’ve never been into making resolutions. It seems like a) a waste of time and b) everyone says, “I’ll resolve to lose 55lbs by March” and by January 3rd, that leftover rum cake is looking mighty tasty. But that never happens to me. Ever. Now that I’ve had time to think about resolutions and process the thought of them, I find that it has nothing to do with changing your entire life in the matter of one year. No, you will not find the solution to the Israel-Palestine conflict. Sorry, to burst that bubble for you. It’s more about making slight changes that won’t force you to completely give up your life, but instead do things that won’t make you want to spontaneously combust and/or drop kick everyone.

For example, I suggested to Peg that her resolution be that when she would like for her assistant or one of the many people that work under her (I know, she’s so bad ass) to do something; that she ask politely. Like saying “Please” not “You need to do this”. Because I’m sure those people in return are thinking, ‘I don’t need to do shit for you’. And I also reminded her that when she’s having a bad day, like I don’t know, her daughter just asked her for $500 and a kidney and is also a general pain in the ass; that she not take this out on those that work for her. But instead speak in a tone, which would make them be a little more willing to be nice in her time of need. Not, in a tone, that would make her coworkers have images of her being severely injured. Because that would be sad.

Of course the above suggestions for Peg were purely for her own good and had nothing to do with me. Nope. Never. I just don’t understand why people make these grandiose resolutions to lose weight, get married, find a boyfriend etc. But are incapable to resolve just to be nicer and to use their fucking manners. It’s actually a lot easier than resolving to not eat burritos anymore in order to get one’s ass in tip top shape.

And yes, I’m saying this all to myself as well. I’m sure Emily Post would be so proud.


Blogger Sharkbait said...

It is easier, but I think people really forget, and take people who do have manners for granted.

I do it because it's great when someone is polite back to me. And it makes me feel good.

Sometimes it's hard to always be polite, depending on a situation or a mood, but there is no reason to take it out on anybody.

We've all been there.

10:55 AM  
Blogger Marissa said...

No one should resolve to not eat burritos. Ever.

11:44 AM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

I don't know, somedays ending world hunger, coming up with a plan for peace in the Middle East, and resolving not to eat burritos all seem easier than being nice to people and using my manners. Depends on the day, I guess.

11:49 AM  
Blogger The Assimilated Negro said...

word up mama. I resolved to lose half a pound, and slap one less stupid motherfucker this year. it's all about setting obtainable goals ...

11:59 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Sharkie!: You're back! I know people forget and I do as well. I'm just getting irritated by people with no manners and I'm sure others are starting to become irritated by me as well. It's something we all need to work on.

Marissa: Just for you, I will go and have a burrito. Although there is a moritorium on tortillas, I might have to make an exception. But only for you.

Lizzie: Every day, it's easier to just roll my eyes at someone rather than correct him or her for being a dumb shit. But I might just try to be nicer. At least until tomorrow.

TAN: Amen!
ok, that Amen! was for your comment and I'm watching a funeral and got all in the spirit. I don't know what's come over me. But I do totally agree with setting 'obtainable goals'. I resolve to give the finger less.

2:04 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

I just get irritated with those who resolve to lose weight because it makes it virtually impossible to find an open treadmill during the first few months of the year. And then they're all broken because people don't know how to use them.

But that's okay... they should all be pretty much gone in the next month or so and in the meantime I resolve to show up 30 minutes earlier so I can beat their slow asses onto the machine.

2:35 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Angela: Umm hello! that's why I get up at 5:20. I get to the gym at 6 when it first opens and only two other people are there. It's great.

2:40 PM  
Blogger Nap Queen said...

I wish I could get the attorneys I work with to resolve to "Stop treating support staff (i.e. me) as though we're not smart enough to go to law school and realize that maybe we just don't want to go to law school because we're deathly afraid of turning out like them. Cold and bitter." Is that asking too much?

2:44 PM  
Blogger MKD said...

There is more than one fork?

4:06 PM  
Blogger theinebriantgrape said...

keep cussing. it makes me happy.

12:32 PM  

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