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Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Humped

"Some persons are very decisive when it comes to avoiding decisions. " ~Brendan Francis

Would you rather spend your formative years with a person who has a voice that reminds you of nails on a chalk board but you know would do you some good OR with a person who makes you want to gouge your eyes out with a rusty nail but leaves you in a position to move a little easier? Tough call.

Would you rather spend a long weekend in Martha’s Vineyard being taken care of by your mother and purchasing 8 pairs of Reefs for $10 a pop OR in our lovely nation’s capitol where there is ample opportunity to make thirteen visits to Trader Joe’s?

And in completely unrelated news whatsoever; last night while walking home I cried out in horror-an emphatic Oh Fuck!-as I watched my neighbor get out of her car and drop a bottle of wine. It was in slow motion. I could see her awkwardly attempt to open the car door with her day bag on one arm and a gym bag on the other, bottle of red in hand. I knew what would happen but I couldn’t help, I could only watch as the bottle slipped onto the concrete and suddenly fill the air with the delicious smell of Pinot Noir. I hope she knows that I felt her pain.

Happy Hump Day!

17 Comments:

Blogger blake said...

I had that happen once, but it broke in the trunk of my Honda! God what a mess-I road around half drunk for weeks!!!!!

12:14 PM  
Blogger theinebriantgrape said...

happy hump day...

12:21 PM  
Anonymous stephanie said...

One time in colege, I went with my ex and a bunch of his friends to the corner store to stock up on alcohol for the night and we put a couple of 6-packs in his backpack, which then broke as soon as we got out the door. Somehow, all six of my beers were shattered, but they managed to cushion the fall for the rest and only one other bottle broke. Fuckers.

12:27 PM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

Lick the ground, lick the ground I say! Do not let the red go to waste!

12:29 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Hee... hope you don't have any stray dogs or cats in your area. I doubt their alcohol tolerance is anything to brag about.

12:32 PM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

13 visits to Trader Joe's? Hot damn and pass the veggie chips!

1:09 PM  
Blogger Mappy B said...

I LOVE Reefs. Love doesn't even symbolize the way I feel about those flops. I lived in them in college, and have introduced a bunch of people to them. Love them. You can never have too many Reefs!

1:43 PM  
Blogger A Unique Alias said...

That last bit is so tragic . . . I've got a big, single tear rolling down my cheek right now. I hope you're happy.

1:46 PM  
Anonymous Neil said...

If this wine was that $2.99 stuff from Trader Joe's, than there are worse tragedies. Like a $80 dollar bottle of wine.

1:55 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Blake: Now that would be sad. On NYE I was driving with a 12 pack of Stella on the back seat and I wasn't paying attention and ran into some guy in front of me at a stop light. Instead of freaking out about my car (Hello! that's what bumpers are for) I quickly turned around to make sure the beer was still ok. thankfully it was.

theinebriatgrape: thanks!

Stephanie: again, how sad. I also forgot to mention the time I had a giant bottle of shiraz in my arms and I bent over to look at the world's largest bug (I swear it was huge) and I dropped the bottle. I was also wearing white linen pants. I cried.

Marci: I was quite tempted to do so.

Angela: there are actually all these cats everywhere. Now they are hungover cats.

LisaB: it's a long weekend. I'm allowed more than two visits.

MappyB: I have like five pairs, and all the stores in MV are having sales on them during the winter months, so I figure I might as well stock up on more.
Well sales on Reefs and Lily (GAG!) Pulitzer. I'd rather have the reefs

AUA: I am so very sorry...

1:57 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Neil: I don't think it was two buck chuck, but it it was then yes you are very correct.

1:58 PM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

I feel her pain just reading this. The world is just so full of tragedy.

Happy hump day to you too!

2:54 PM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

Lizzie's comment perfectly capped off this post. I can visualize the bottle falling... there's not much worse than a bottle of wine breaking, because with any other accident, you can at least drink away your pain...

2:59 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Lizzie: yes, yes it is. I wonder how people can go on after such an event.

MG!: exactly. She probably had to settle for a nasty ass bottle of white. yuck!

3:57 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I weep for the spilled wine!

8:02 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

And actually, after a day like today? Even a shattered two buck chuck would be a tragedy.

8:09 PM  
Anonymous lorie said...

Holy crap, I have never heard of Reefs and now I NEED THEM.

10:30 AM  

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