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Monday, February 06, 2006

Just call me Oscar


“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.” ~Mark Twain, Pudd'nhead Wilson, 1894

I look mean don’t I? And downright scary and evil and like I have the maturity of a baby seal? No, that is not the face of a person who last night drove for an hour around and around Northeast DC trying to find 495. You need not tell me I’m a moron, I’m pretty well aware. And let’s hope that I don’t look like a person who would then decide that all of her friends hate her and why go to a stupid Super Bowl party in Maryland that I wasn’t even invited to. There’s no point in that really. We won’t get into my chronic foot-in-mouth disease by which I discover my Super Bowl party evite, in my hotmail account. The account that hasn’t been looked at since May 2005. *hangs head in deep dark shame*

Now only happy thoughts, like emails from Coach saying “Our gift to you”. But wait, if you look at the entire email as opposed to the little Gmail notification, you too, would realize that it says “Our gift to you: Free shipping.” *motherfuckers*

And to the spawn of Satan person from Bank of America who Googled “BofA sucks” and came to my blog; I strongly suggest you move to a new place of employment, before I begin sticking pins into my BofA voodoo doll. And you end up with a mysterious stomach illness. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. *shitheads*

13 Comments:

Anonymous MappyB said...

How do you find out how people come to your blog?

Oh, and don't feel bad about getting lost, I moved from a square city layout, and DC makes NO SENSE to me. PLUS, I make maps for a living, and get lost all the time! It's my curse!

4:19 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

the best invention ever: www.sitemeter.com

4:27 PM  
Blogger Lizzie said...

I think I left a comment on your blog once along the lines of "BofA sucks." Sorry if I contributed to inviting the spawn of satan to your blog.

5:41 PM  
Blogger Sue Ellen Mischke said...

Site meter does rock.

You don't look mean. Just a little irritated maybe? I hate when people send stuff to an email address I've told them 10,000 times I don't use. If you're mad, be mad at how stupid that person is.

8:49 PM  
Blogger wunelle said...

You actually look pretty calm (in a... Hannibal Lecter kinda way.)

Kidding. Actually, it's a very nice photo. OK, I take back my questioning whether you're really a white guy from Detroit with plumber's crack. This picture pretty much puts that theory to bed. (I liked the old mirror photo too, so it's just the number of photos that has convinced me. ;-)

8:56 PM  
Blogger Buffy said...

Puddin Head cracks me up.

6:59 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

That was actually taken on friday night, before I was actually pissed.
I just believe that smiling is way overrated.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Cyber Preacher said...

I think you look like your Mom when she was about your age.

1:41 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Thanks!
And thank you for not yelling at me about my swearing. ;-)

1:55 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

I don't think you look mean. I think you look tough. Now come over here and kick some ass at my work!!

2:35 PM  
Anonymous kelly said...

Hi. I just arrived through amalah's blog and I saw this post. I just opened a checking and savings account at Bank of America. I signed up for their Keep the Change program...

if you could kindly point me to the blog posts that describe your experiences with BOA (or BofA as the case may be), so that I might be better informed, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks!

7:21 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Kelly: I don't remember exactly what posts, but it basically comes down to their customer service etiquette. They suck and they're rude and unhelpful.

1:13 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Heather,

Thank you for the laugh I got from the BofA sucks post.

I dated them for twenty years (paid off a house note gave googles of money and recently they fucked me in my ass with no lube.

I to have a BofA voodoo doll except I can not find where to stick the pin to hurt them enough so I shit on the doll and burned it.

Will that reverse my preditory pricing phase?

7:20 PM  

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