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Thursday, February 23, 2006

Just a Number

"Thirty-five is a very attractive age. London society is full of women of the very highest birth who have, of their own free choice, remained thirty-five for years."-Oscar Wilde

While on my third (or fifth, but who’s counting?) drink last night I spoke with the lovely Marci. Marci who looks like she’s 25. Marci who confessed-ok, not so much confessed as much as I’m slightly slow and didn’t realize such things, but nevertheless, ‘confessed’-that she is ten years older than I. So 22 plus 10. 2 and 0 is 2 and the 2 and 1 make, hmmm. That’s what it makes, it makes ‘hmm’ and I had the look of dire shock on my face, because holy motherfucker she’s 32. She doesn’t look like she’s 32 but I neglected to get actual proof like a birth certificate or hear it from her mother’s lips, but she’s 32.

She’ll tell you that upon hearing this that I ran away. I did not run away. What part of ‘third (or fifth…)’ didn’t you understand? I had to pee. There was also mention about me being 22 that may have been a compliment, but see the former statement and you’ll know why I probably didn’t full comprehend.

Will I be that young and fancy free when I’m in my 30’s? I always need to know what will happen later. Waiting is boring and leaves way too much time for procrastinating. Instead I’d much prefer to know now what I will look like and/or be doing in my 30’s. I know, I know; youth is wasted on the young. Bite me. Kathryn-who is 31 and once again, insert picture of HB’s jaw dropping face here-says “look what you have to look forward to”, which is true. At one point, long long ago, I had visions of being married etc. by my mid-20’s. I think the phrase we’re looking for here is and emphatic; fuck no and doubtful, very doubtful.

People say that now 30 is so young blah blah blah, but it’s not just that, it’s the fact that even though I know many in their late 20’s and early 30’s, none of them act ‘holier than thou’ or treat me like I’m 14, which is honestly what I would expect [right now would also be an excellent time to mention that there are also those that are in their late 20’s and early 30’s that are actual real life adults with children and mortgages and I feel like I could never hang out with them on a social basis because dude, you’re somebody’s mother. Moving on.] Instead they are cordial and I am treated like an adult, which HA! I’m so not even close to, but on paper apparently I am one, but whatever, we can debate the merits of my actual adult status later, back to 30 year olds who look 20, which just begs the most important question; what are you people using? Is it that La Mer shit? Or are the powers of Clinique’s three step program just that great? Oh and also, how do you manage to stay up late and get to the gym every day because really I’m ass tired right now.

Please ladies, do tell. How do you do it?

20 Comments:

Blogger Nicole said...

I'm with you too honey. At 23, I was "stuck in a" rut of going to bed at 9:00, daydreaming of being married within the next 6 years, having at least 1 child by 30. Blah. Life's too short.

Oh, and according to Circle V and Kathryn, bluemercury is what changed their lives.

And I'm glad I'm not the only one still using the Clinique 3-step process...ok, well I skip steps 1&2, and use only #3.

Nice to meet you last night :)

11:57 AM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

I might be 32, but you'll still drink with me won't you?

And it had to have been the fifth drink, because I think you are combining someone else's story with mine (Nicole's maybe?). Sadly, a BA degree is all I have. I don't claim to be smart...just pretty. (wink)

And I have no regime other than many workouts, lots of water, Rosebud Salve and sunscreen. That, and I am partially insane and don't do drugstore facial products (I am on a Fresh kick right now, it's sooo fab). You are the sweetest thing on the planet and if I was half as coherent and fabulous as you at 22, I'd be on top of the world right now. You have so much ahead of you. Wow.

12:31 PM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

30 is the new 20, and 40 is the new 30. Women are looking younger and younger these days. I've heard it's healthy diet, lots of water, sunscreen, etc.

Too bad for my love of laying in the sun, eating Thai Chicken Pizza, and drinking coffee...

1:12 PM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

Also, immaturity helps. I have loads of that.

1:40 PM  
Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

Drink lots of water, stay out of the sun, and lots of moisturizer. And not too much alcohol. All will keep you looking younger.

2:54 PM  
Blogger Penny said...

I'm so glad you brought this subject up! I'm staring 30 straight in the face (okay, I've got a couple of years but, still, 30!) and I want to know the secrets. ESPECIALLY about staying up late and getting to the gym.

PS - Drunk or not, I think you're hilarious! I'm new to your site but love what I've read so far. :)

3:44 PM  
Blogger Rhinestone Cowgirl said...

I'm only 27, but I swear by Kiehl's. Love that stuff.

Oh, and lots of hot sex. The porkin' - it keeps you young at heart.

And elsewhere.

3:46 PM  
Blogger the belligerent intellectual said...

Yeah, I don't worry so much about looking old, I worry more about feeling old. How someone who is 10 years older than me can have more energy and memory power than me is terrifying. Unless I missed a scienfitic study that confirms these things get better with age, I'm pretty sure I'm screwed.

4:27 PM  
Blogger Kris said...

My Thighmaster keeps me a young 32.

4:33 PM  
Blogger Dirk the Feeble said...

Well, I'm not a lady but I do have a rockin' body so let me tell you my secrets to success: donuts and chocolate sandwiches. You want a body like mine? Eat donuts!

-Armaedes, Future Krispy Kreme Spokesman

4:47 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Nicole: Great meeting you as well! ok so note to self: BlueMercury. Got it.

Marci: Thank you so much. You were right it was Nicole and it was the 4th drink, but minor details. I use the Rosebud salve and I use spf 15 on my face and lips everyday.

MappyB: Gracias for the tips. Seriously I'm making a list of these things as they are suggested.

LisaB: Where have you been all my life?? Heh, I know where ;-) Anyway, I do the sunscreen and the water and I really don't drink as much as it might seem. Seriously. Promise.

Penny: See that "so far" right there? Yeah, by tomorrow you'll be thinking "WTF is this crap?" Kidding. Happy Reading!

RC: Actually they sell Kiehls at Bluemercury so awesome. Oh and the last bit of your comment made me spit tea all over my phone, thanks for that.

BI: Seriously these girls had so much energy and nice etc. I'm jealous. Here's to hoping that I'm as awesome as they are when I'm older.

Kris: ::scribling furiously:: purchase thighmaster.

4:53 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Arm: Do dunkin donuts work? Or just the Krispy Kremes?

4:54 PM  
Blogger Kathryn Is So Over said...

I love bluemercury, specifically facials from Paula at the Georgetown location. She'll tell you everything you need, whether it's diamond microdermabrasion, an extra vitamin treatment, the glycolic peel... it's wonderful. And the Darphin, Dermalogica, and Ren products she recommends are divine.

That and a smile will take you pretty far towards looking and feeling young. :)

4:58 PM  
Anonymous stephanie said...

Er, well, when I was 23 and 9 months I was mistaken for a 16 year old... by someone who I am pretty sure was younger than me... when I was next to my brother who was actually 16 years old (but looked probably 14, but still). Um, yeah, no advice on how I keep myself looking young, it just happened. Really, I just find it annoying and kind of embarrassing and I worry that I look way too young to be taken seriously and I wish I looked older, but I know when I am 35 I will be glad I look 20-something.

Oh, except I do have advice -- that L'Oreal Revitalift Complete stuff works AWESOME for bags and wrinkles around the eyes, which are the one telltale sign that I am NOT actually 16. And that I do not get enough sleep.

5:47 PM  
Blogger darlin nikki said...

adult schmadult. can't i just make their money and stay out all night too? sounds like a grand evening!

9:23 PM  
Blogger babyjewels said...

It's only a number. Says the girl who's turning 40 and is mentally 19.

8:35 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

I'm 30, got a husband and a mortgage, but still get carded unless I'm straight from work and wearing a suit.

Also? When my car broke down the other night I called my daddy.

Grown-up, shmown-up.

2:03 PM  
Blogger Bone said...

I attribute any youth I may exude to immaturity. And remaining single.

Oh, and yeah, Clinique. Of course.

3:17 PM  
Blogger Sue Ellen Mischke said...

The secrets to beauty in my family are:

1. Have a hot Italian mom
2. Have oily, olive colored skin
3. Eat lots of pasta

My mom is 53 and people still think we are sisters- not because I look 50, but because she looks about 35. We pretty much look like twins so I'm hoping that means I'm going to finally be hot when I'm 53.

Besides, ethnic people look young longer than white people. Black people especially. You are guaranteed to be beautiful, like, forever, so don't waste your money on Kiehls or La Mer. Just stay black, baby.

9:11 AM  
Blogger TinaPoPo said...

Age is all in your head. Just a number. I personally can't wait to get out of my twenties, so I can look back and laugh at how immature and stupid I was. For now, though, I'll just choose to wallow in my immature stupidity while I can still get away with it.

1:51 PM  

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