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Monday, February 27, 2006

Love.Angel.Family.Jersey: Part II

"Family is just accident.... They don't mean to get on your nerves. They don't even mean to be your family, they just are." ~Marsha Norman
Tyrone (insert Erykah Badu song here) gets married and HB gets drunk and eats some cake. All is right with the world. I should also mention that 'political correctness' is lacking here in Barmore land. Oh and no more Jersey or Family for a very long time. Because seriously...
I've got one big motherfucking head. But who cares? Because my hair is straight and pretty and I'm pretty sure that these people attended Hogwarts at some point; because they can do some magic.

This is G (Garrett). G thinks he's hot shit in his fancy tux. Ok. Fine. You looked good. Poor thing had to shave off that beard of his for these nuptials. Don't worry, in about 6 more weeks, you'll have almost that full beard you've always wanted.

Daphney married Ty (who has yet to be pictured). Look, she's smiling and glowing and so happy to be married. I'm laughing. Poor poor girl has no idea what she's just gotten herself into, but I think she may have gotten a taste of it, when I was on my 8th vodka tonic. Love me some open bar. I should also add that Daphney is Hatian and speaks French and that G may have made a few off color jokes about Hatians that involved talk of shrunken heads and eating goat. We're such a PC family over here.

Ignore the giant man, look at the cute little boy. You totally want one of your own. Too bad, he's mine. Ok not mine, mine, but my nephew. I also must point out that I haven't seen him in years, and upon seeing me, he hugged my leg. This child had no clue who I was and yet he hugged me. So much for stranger danger. And duh, he has a name-which I totally forgot to tell you all-it's Taye. As in Diggs. As in yup, he will grow up to be hot and sing selections from Rent. Awesome.

Ty (on the left) has a look that reads; 'my mother* is fucking 45 minutes late to my wedding.'

G's look reads; 'my mommy would never be late to my wedding.'
I immediately called my mommy to tell her that if she were late to my wedding, I'd break off her legs and beat her with them. Because that's the kind of loving daughter I am.
Also, this is about 500 + lbs of burly black men. They will both fuck your shit up if you leave a mean comment. Just so y'all know.

* We don't have the same mother, but Garrett and I do. [no comment]



Blogger LisaBinDaCity said...

Families and politically correct rarely go hand in hand. At least not in mine ;-)

1:55 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

I could very much go for some vodka right now... Vodka makes being PC seem very, very unimportant...

I was supposed to be at a wealthy friend's wedding this weekend. I imagine the open bar must have been like heaven. I asked her to send pictures of it.

2:04 PM  
Blogger RoarSavage said...

Your bother is cute!

VERY funny post. They held the wedding for the Mother of the Groom? Interesting...

2:44 PM  
Blogger RoarSavage said...

And no Hogwarts necessary, darling. You're HOT!

2:52 PM  
Blogger Sharkbait said...

Glad you had a fun time, and you definately look hot!!!

Your nephew is adorable, and that is a really great picture.

3:06 PM  
Blogger Larissa said...

ah family weddings...aren't they the best?

3:26 PM  
Blogger babyjewels said...

You've got a nice looking family. That made me want to go to a wedding. It's been a long time since I have.

4:48 PM  
Blogger Audra said...

G is pretty darn hot

6:13 PM  
Anonymous jenn said...

did you have enough wine?

your nephew is adorable and i predict he will be a heartbreaker when he is older :)

7:34 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

For all of y'all who think that G is hot, I guarantee he's not so hot after 8 LI iced teas and he's talking so much that you contemplate throwing him out of a car. But sadly, you could never do that because he weighs like 80 million pounds and is like 8ft tall. Seriously, my brothers are some large mo fos. I must show you all a picture of McShorty (my dad) who is like 5'7" and we all tower over him.

But I will pass along the compliments to the fam.


7:42 PM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

Purrty smile already :)

7:51 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

I love your hair. Now if I could only get mine to be that straight!!

(Um, should I mention that my husband was late to the family breakfast before our wedding ceremony? I was so mad at him, all the while also being very afraid that he was somewhere near the Canadian border!)

Love the pictures!

11:00 PM  
Blogger darlin nikki said...

I totally want me one of those little guys! But they have to be at least as cute as that one; ooooh, it's going to be tough. I like how u approach weddings too, through the glorious gaze of alcohol--praise! Fabulous pictures :)

2:55 AM  
Blogger Diet Coke of Evil said...

Don't you love having to explain to people that you and your siblings have a different parent? People automatically assume the worst, or that you don't consider them your real siblings or other equally awful things. My brother and sister have a different father than I do, and when I tell people, you'd think I would have said that my mother owned a crack den and slept with every man on earth. Ha!

Also, if my mother were ever late to my wedding, I would also break her legs and beat her with them. :)

8:30 AM  
Blogger RoarSavage said...

DCoE: Blended families are rife with that sh*t. At least you don't have to deal with a StepMom who always stresses, when introducing you to strangers, "This is Roar, my STEPdaughter."
Oops. I'm sorry. I'll keep my issues on my own blog, lol.

11:16 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I need to do a post one day about my family. But it's actually not so bad, my stepmother-who I call my stepmother, but she and my father aren't married, but they've been together since I was 10-actually refers to me as her daughter. When I was little and people would give her a compliment about me (because I'm awesome!) she would say thank you, just as any mother would.

My mother on the other hand, still is a little indifferent about my older brothers, and I don't blame her. But that's a story for another day.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Diet Coke of Evil said...

Roar - Puh-LEASE. I don't want this to turn into a "My split family is so much more f*ed up than your's" battle, because that would be sad, but I'll just say that I HEAR YOU. Why is it so hard for people to be nice?

Heather - I'm glad your experience is mostly positive. I think I've ended up with the evil stepparents on both ends, although it has gotten better. You should definitely do a post about your family!

12:40 PM  
Blogger wunelle said...

You should do a collection of self-portraits, like Van Gogh!

6:25 PM  
Blogger Namaste said...

Nothing better than family.

You've outdone yourself, HB!

7:21 PM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

Little did they know, but as Daphney snickered 'va te fait foutre' under her breath and smiled graciously, everyone probably thought she was being cute.

Haitian french is sexy. Lucky Ty...

3:50 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You are a very pretty lady and super witty!

7:33 PM  

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