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Friday, March 31, 2006


“Make your feet your friend.” ~J.M. Barrie

In the three months since I’ve joined WSC, I’ve seen some noticeable changes. I’ve even turned into one of those people who freaks the fuck out when missing the gym for one day. I mean, God forbid I don’t get in my 45 minutes on the elliptical. I will perish, for real. Other than the pounds lost, I’ve learn to appreciate spinning and to use my snark on women with ass sweat. Which, I should add, is quite unsettling in itself, but recent events give way to more disturbing behavior.

Now, I’m all for changing in the women’s locker room and I really could care less about who sees my boobs; though I will admit the one instance in which my coworker was in the locker room changing at the same time and I turned to face a stranger, rather than have my coworker see my boobs. Because that’s just weird. Beyond all of that, what gets me is the women who feel free to wander around a PUBLIC locker room BARE FOOT. As in sans any sort of protective layer between their feet and a lovely combo of hair/sweat/germs/general deliciousness. These are the same women who go barefoot into the shower. Shower! I am so upset writing this now that my eyes are closed because EWWWWW. Maybe this all upsets me so much because I’ve had my fair share of plantar warts. It was painful and something that taught me to always wear flip flops when at a public pool. Also, I have a severe disgust for…hold on a minute, I’m gagging…hair. The thought of hair on the floor and having my bare feet that are wet with sweat and/or from the shower makes my stomach churn and now I’ve vomited my pad thai.

As if this initial sundae of nastiness wouldn’t be enough, there’s a cherry on top: the small asian woman who took it upon herself to prance – bare foot – from the shower area to the far side of the locker room, without any sort of covering. She also decided that then would be a good time to stand in front of the mirrors in the toilet area, to stare and admire her nude self, leaving the rest of us to admire her tiny ass and pubic area. Sweetheart? Those white fluffy things right there are called towels, use them.

I dare you to scour these lovely images from your brain. You can’t, can you?


Blogger Liz said...

You've inspired me to clean my bathroom this weekend.

2:43 PM  
Anonymous jenn said...

i swear the world's largest hairballs are in women's locker rooms. every gym i have ever worked out at has had them-- from el cheapo gyms to la ti da gyms.

4:44 PM  
Blogger the belligerent intellectual said...

It sounds like such a magical place . . . Tell me more.

5:04 PM  
Blogger ocg said...

And men think about all of the frivolity that might occur in the woman's restrooms...

I can't stand it when people do not where shoes on the floor... but I saw a nekked woman SIT ON A BENCH one time, SANS TOWEL. I never sat in that locker room again.

You remind me, my dear Heather, why I no longer go to this jeeem place you speak of.

6:04 PM  
Blogger ocg said...

PS- after another blogger and I were unable to access your page today, I thought for sure you would end up a contributor on Lizzie's new "Blogger Sucks" blog.

6:06 PM  
Blogger Jasclo said...

Oh, ew ew ew ew. Now I have to go home and shower. In my OWN clean bathroom.

And yes, those women belong to my gym too. Disturbing how they're everywhere, eh?

11:37 PM  
Blogger Neil said...

Maybe this naked woman was hired by the gym management to make everyone insecure with how thin she was -- to make sure everyone renewed their contract!

6:12 AM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

AH! I agree. It always reminds me of the 'good naked', 'bad naked' episode from Seinfeld. Crouching down naked to get your thong from your gym bag = BAD naked.

You raise so many valid points here, my thoughts on the gym - exactly!

11:25 AM  
Blogger Isabel said...

Oh my gosh....I HATE hair also. I think I blogged about that one before.

Oh, and I don't go barefoot at my own freaking house. I'm not doing it at the gym.

The King says all sorts of ODD things happen in the male locker room. Things I don't want to know about!

5:49 PM  
Blogger unforgiving b*tch said...

I have the same disgust...the only shower I can be barefoot my own.

6:03 PM  
Blogger Namaste said...

Great post.

I feel you on all counts!

10:54 AM  
Blogger alana said...

Just be grateful that the naked Asian woman wasn't trying to engage in a conversation with you. It's happened to me. It was weird. Although I'd totally take chatty naked randoms over changeroom hairballs any day.

11:17 AM  

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