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Thursday, April 27, 2006

Expect the Unexpected

“Anger is short-lived madness.” ~Horace

Well fuck me…it’s mighty difficult to write anything while upset or depressed or feeling like someone has just stomped all over your stomach, ripped your insides out and then tossed them against the wall. You can thank me for that lovely visual later.

That’s how I’m feeling right now. So crappy that yesterday during free cone day I went twice, we’re talking rough people. Getting into it will only make it worse. The hardest thing is that when I was younger and someone didn’t like me, naivety took over and I figured I could win that person back by begging and or doling out dollars if she (it was usually a female) needed one during lunch. I thought I was being nice and in hindsight – like by the next year – I realized that I had the words “Use me” written on my forehead in bold. At 22, my expectations of people and how I react to how others treat me has gotten fairly better, though I suppose I’m still somewhat naïve. I am an adult and I associate with adults. That said, I expect for other adults to treat me with the same amount of respect with which I treat them. Period. If you don’t like me, that’s fine, but at least give me some sor t of idea as to why.

Now I’m regretting bringing this up. The more I think about the current predicament, the more hurt, upset and angrier I get. I didn’t expect to be treated this way and now that it’s come to this, where I’m hurt and the offender probably could give two shits, I don’t know what to do with myself.

For now I will sit here and fume and try to figure out what exactly I did wrong because right now I have no fucking clue. No explanation, no nothing. It’s like it is what it is and I should just accept it and move on. That’ll teach me about my expectations of people. But no one expects a fucking adult to behave in the same manner as a 7th grader.

Then again, this might just be a case of Pot. Kettle. Black. Who the hell knows…actually I do know one thing, I’m upset and I’ve been to Ben & Jerry’s three times in 24 hours. Not. Good.


Anonymous Angela said...

Dude, Omarosa and I think you're totally racist now, why did you have to bring black kettles into it?? God!

But in all seriousness, I'm sorry you're having to deal with whatever crap you're going through. It's sad, but I've learned that the best way to take care of yourself is to totally expect the worst from people. And it's SHOCKING how much the "real world" is exactly like middle school.

8:38 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Which reminds of these days I'll have to tell you all about the first time I heard the phrase "Brown nosing" and also "Pot calling the kettle black". Let's just say both times I went home and cried.

8:42 AM  
Blogger RoarSavage said...

Want me to beat them up... playground style?

Wanna talk about it? Mwah!

9:20 AM  
Blogger Penny said...

What? I missed free cone day? Now I'm pissed!

9:34 AM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

Wait - there are racist inflections to both of those phrases? Here I was totally thinking that brown-nosing was basically kissing someones ass (which would leave you with a brown nose). I was told that.

I don't know about the pot one. I should Google them. I'm so out of it, I just learned that picnic has racist roots as well. I didn't know I could accidently be offending people. So naive.

11:00 AM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

Oooh, I'm with Roary...we'll don pigtails and beat the mean bitch up. And then send her a spinnin' on the merry-go-round. I am sooo up for that.

Also, free Ben & Jerry's? Sooo good. No guilt there. Free Ben & Jerry's must be done. To deny it would be sacreligious.

11:31 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Roary & Marci: Though it would be awesome if you could beat this person up playground style, I doubt it would help. This situation is kind of like not liking GWB. If I say I can't stand him, nothing will happen no one can do anything about him and he'll still be powerful etc. But then again, I'm all for a merry-go-round.

Penny: April 25th!! It was damn tasty too.

MappyB: The thing is that there are no racial conotations to either phrase (at least not that I'm aware of) but at the time, when I was like 8 years old, I thought there was. Get it?

1:21 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Hm, sorry, I was just joking about the whole racist thing--hope I didn't stir people up too much! It was a reference to an old episode of the Apprentice. Open mouth, insert foot!

1:43 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

No, no! I totally got it, it just reminded me of a time when I didn't get it. So I'm the idiot here. I just thought it was funny. No worries.

1:44 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have been in your shoes a few times and I find the only thing that help you is time after awhile the hurt and anger will fade and then you will go into "fuck 'em" mode like TD Jakes says if people walk away let them go they were not meant to be there or they have fulfiled their purpose.

1:49 PM  
Blogger Jorge said...

Hey Heather,

Well, no matter what's wrong, at least you know you have people in your corner.

I mean, come on!

How many girls can say that they have a Canadian Guy who would wear a pink apron rooting for them?

So far: 5

And you know the other 4.

So there.

E-mail if you want to vent.
I'm here to listen.


2:55 PM  
Blogger green_canary said...

Yo Heather! Rumor has it that I have family members in The Mob. Want me to have them fit this beyotch with some cement booties?

3:16 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Anonymous: that's how I'm beginning to feel. I can be upset until I'm blue in the face and nothing will change, so why am I wasting my time? It sucks and I need to move on.

Jorge: nothing like a man in a pink apron to make me feel better. Gracias friend.

G_C: Is that really you?!?! Umm thanks, I think. Nothing like a busted kneecap to say "don't fuck with my friends"

3:21 PM  
Blogger MKD said...

I'd give you a hug but 1)I don't know you 2)you can't over the internet and 3)I don't do hugs.

But I thought about it.

3:57 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

It's the thought that counts.

4:07 PM  
Blogger Buffy said...

Three times?

This is serious. :(

4:09 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

It is serious. So serious in fact that when I posted this I forgot the ending to an entire sentence.

4:21 PM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

I noticed the no ending thing, and thought that maybe Blogger messed up.

So it turns out I'M just the one who didn't get it. Haha. Thanks for the clarification. I seriously spent some time Googling word origins.

And yeah, about the time I hit 25, I realized that I kept getting really passionate about things, and nothing would change, so I had to rethink my actions. Because it was causing me to get all worked up, and for who? No one who matters really.

And at 25 too, I passed a 'No More Negativity' Bill into my life. It's done wonders. I'm trying to work on a 'No More Drama' one, but I'm not sure that's possible! I attract drama. :)

5:09 PM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I'm sorry, Heather. Enjoy the ice cream, at least-- then something good can come out of this. :)

6:06 PM  
Blogger Bone said...

You're right. Some people are still in middle school maturity-level wise.

Sorry you're hurt. Looks like we can round up a pretty good blog posse if you need ;-)

(Posse's not racist, is it? I hope not.)

6:12 AM  
Blogger Nicole said...

When I was still in my fast-metabolism days during college, me and 6 Lambda Chis went to B&J at Union Station and had 6 cones each. Yes. In 1 trip. We started out with the pick-up cone, get back in line and eat as fast as possible before you're up again. After the 3rd cone, I couldn't maintain that speed, so I slowed to the pick-up cone, sit and eat, then get into line. Yum.

7:53 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Feel better soon, Heather B.

9:00 AM  

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