An ounce of stupidity
Ok, so don’t tell anyone I’m telling you this, because it’s a tad bit embarrassing; but sometimes I wonder how I made it through 17 years of schooling, four of which at a fairly decent private institution. The point is that though I can fully comprehend American Public Policy , I can speak Spanish fluently and I have also learned to swing a golf club immaculately, I am none too bright. Take for instance the painstaking operation that was translating One Hundred Years of Solitude from Spanish to English. Painful like someone tried to rip off my left nipple kind of painful. Like I seriously cried at 1 AM while simultaneously thinking of near fatal diseases that I prayed I would succumb to before my 12:54 PM class. For years I thought this hellish experience was reserved for my Spanish class and that no one had actually written such a terrible ass book (magical realism is rather hard to comprehend or give two fucks about when you’re 15), I was utterly convinced that Gabriel Garcia Marquez was some made up person. Imagine my surprise upon learning that this was an actual book and that people, including Queen Oprah herself, appreciated this book.
Fast forward to my obsession with Bridget Jone’s Diary over the past year and a half (another tribute to my Spanish fluency is that I can understand this move in both Spanish and English. Brilliant!). At one point in the movie there is a cameo by some author - Salman Rushdie. Ummm, sorry, who? Today while reading a Slate article, I happened across his name and was convinced that Salman Rushdie may in fact be important or some such shit. I decided to Wikipedia him and read all up on his back story and the controversy then banged my head on the desk a few times because holy hell Salman Rushdie isn’t just some Bridget Jone’s character, but he’s a real live boy and I am a real live idiot.
So to recap, I can tell you all about European history and can comprehend it in both Spanish and English, I can name a few hundred members of Congress, but I only recently have discovered that Rushdie and Marquez are actual people. Dear readers, you have just stumbled upon a bumbling idiot. Lucky you.
Labels: oh the stupidity you'll see