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Wednesday, April 19, 2006

This is the story that never ends: Quatre


Read parts one, two and three

In Threes

Ok, so where were we? Ahh yes. Thursday, well Friday now. But Friday is altogether forgettable, but in a good way. Sometimes I need average to appreciate things. Remember the curious incident of the fuck me boots? Well this is better. These are fuck me peep toe heels, that compliment my outfit and every outfit in my closet, quite well. A purchase that makes me praise the DSW Gods and not mind wearing a size 11. There was also a requisite trip to Friendly’s. And more visit with family that discouraged my liberal ways of being a vegetarian, who likes gay people, and believes strongly in the Democratic Party. I even have a donkey as a keychain. Word.

As you see, wonderfully mundane. And Saturday follows suit, except for a trip to Friday’s and a visit with a former AP Public Policy teacher. But once again, that’s something that I cannot discuss, lest you want to hear about that time my mother said ‘fuck’ and ‘asshole’ in the same sentence. The best part though would be the fact that I got my ass kicked in golf by a man with a heart condition. We’re talking about a man, who spent all of last Golf season bed ridden and strapped to an IV. My father beat me badly and in a way it brings tears to my eyes. Not because I only hit the ball like 30 yards at one point, but because last summer he almost died (like panic calls from my brothers, almost died) and now he can make a birdie and enjoy happy hour in the club house.

Now, the say bad things come in threes, but I feel like I’ve already hit the three marker and so now I might be headed towards double doses. But, I’m no punk and I can handle it. If you’re keeping score at home, so far my uncle has died, my aunt has been diagnosed with breast cancer and my grandfather has died. So that’s three right? You see three bad things there…but of course, what’s life if you don’t get thrown the occasional loop? My great-aunt, who was 95 also died. So that makes four, if I’m counting correctly. Which totally defies the laws of bad shit happening and like I said, I’m really fearing that we’re heading towards the number six.

Anyway, despite all that, I’ve come to the conclusion that I wish I had been home longer. I’ll probably never admit such a thing again and apparently after this admission hell will freeze over, but two days were certainly not long enough. I needed more time to veg and get my car interior and exterior washed for $15 and appreciate the wonder that is my mother’s strawberry delight and baked macaroni and cheese and to just sit around and get fat(ter) and lazy. It’s nice.

I guess that brings us to today (er, Monday) and my tiredness and the reason for why I limited myself to fruit and water. Because if you noticed, I went to Red Lobster, Friendly’s, Friday’s, Cinnabon (on the way back), macaroni and cheese, potato salad, pizza, a strawberry/cool whip/angel food cake concoction and oh yeah, a visit to the arch nemesis on the way up; and nary a gym visit in sight. So really, I spent a weekend trying to become an eating contest contestant and wondering how much it takes for me to gain back 14 lbs. Let it be known that if I were to enter myself in such a contest, I would totally kick ass.

14 Comments:

Blogger Lizzie said...

What is it about being home that makes us stuff our faces like we haven't seen food in years? I was home this weekend and did the same thing. I swear, the only time I wasn't shoving something fattening in my mouth was when I was sleeping. When I'm here at my own place, I never eat breakfast and I rarely eat lunch and I snack on apples. At home I had seconds for every meal and snacked on pasta. pasta! what the hell?

anyway, we should play golf sometime - I want to learn (well, I already know how since it was my dad's family's business but I want to actually not suck) and you could be guaranteed to beat someone. ;-)

12:39 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Here I snack on carrots and apples and I'm pretty much a horse. At home, I ate everything in site and was always hungry. I seriously had a tapeworm.

And we must play before you depart for sandier pastures.

2:10 PM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

I like to use the excuse that winter is going to be here in about 7 months, and I need to start bulking up to stay warm.
Haha!

2:33 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

You are such a shoe tease! How can you talk about all these shoes and not even show a little!

I really should try that fruit and water thing... pizza and cheesy bread with a side of Dr. Pepper and pink lemonade doesn't really help the weight "melt off"...

2:55 PM  
Blogger Neil said...

I agree. Shoe photos!

3:03 PM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

I'd like to see the shoes too! Pictures, pictures.

3:15 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Brandi: That's hysterical

Angela & Neil: You people are soo demanding. A shoe pic is on its way.

3:15 PM  
Blogger ❉ pixie ❉ said...

The shoe is fabulous!

7:34 PM  
Blogger darlin nikki said...

those are some sexy shoes! me likes!

10:36 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Oh good, glad you all approve of my shoe choice. I kind of just want to dance everywhere in them.

8:16 AM  
Anonymous Sweet said...

cute shoes girl. and you should dance everywhere with 'em, duh!

9:35 AM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Dancing through liiiiife!

And also, thank you. (See, I'm demanding, but also very polite when I get what I want)

10:39 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Ask (or demand) and you shall receive...

11:07 AM  
Anonymous Melissa F. said...

Love, love, love the shoes!! So fabulous and I'm totally jealous!

1:13 PM  

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