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Friday, April 28, 2006


“You're fine, all right, you're fit as a fucking fiddle.”- Wonderboys

For lack of a better phrasing, actually for lack of a better education and vocabulary, my Claritin has got me all fucked the fuck up. I’m jittery yet tired and I’ve been chewing ice like it’s my job (kind of like the way I use the ‘C’ word. Ahem.)

On the real though (On the real? The hell?) a lot of things have me twitching lately, like say people at Ben and Jerry’s, which totally deserves a post of its own. As in, your children may get injured if you sit there and have them take an hour to pronounce ‘Chunky Monkey’. Junior needs to hurry his ass up, because there are disgruntle PMSing adults behind him, and I can’t be held responsible for my actions if held up.

Then there was yesterday morning when I hadn’t gone to the gym because I overslept and I knew I would be able to go Thursday evening because I had to go out and then my eye seriously started to twitch. Because ohmygod I need to run because if I don’t run I won’t do well at the race and then I’ll die. Or some such shit.

Also during the past few days I’ve randomly been outside in the middle of the day or even when I leave the gym at 7:30 AM rushing to get home…the question is, who are these people with nothing to do all day except for frolic around in the sun?? Again with the random eye spasms and such.

And finally, I’ve been rather OCD about checking my sitemeter lately. It’s become this strange obsession about finding out (A) who I know in Denmark, NY and (B) there is such a place? Who the hell knew? Which is probably a sign to slowly back away from the sitemeter hands on my head and so forth, but I can’t. Instead I’ll try to figure out who the hell loves me in Amsterdam and if that person loves me so much, why can’t s/he hook a sister up with some Maoz??

There was something else, but alas and most fortunately for you, I cannot remember what it was. But this all only shows that I am très random and that I should probably get this eye thing checked out.

I remembered the "something else": Andy Card at Oceanaire. With Secret Service. Seeing that shit made me thank the Lord that I'm not epilleptic nor have tourets because who knows what I would've done. It also made me think how happy I am to see my tax dollars hard at work. Awesome, indeed.


Anonymous Jorge said...


Your claritin is far different than mine.

I want some of yours.

It seems to have better side effects.

10:04 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Yeah, this whole eye twitching thing is awesome! Maybe your claritin isn't working because of the Molson ;-)

10:47 AM  
Blogger Saron said...

Greetings! From (one of) your Amsterdam reader(s)! Let's start a fast food swap. I would gladly trade you some Maoz for a 7-layer burrito from Taco Bell. Do they still make those?

11:04 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Dude, don't tempt me. And those freaking fries that they have and the mayo is delicious and that falafel and you can get however much stuff on it as you want and...and...yum.

11:11 AM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Oh my God... I need Taco Bell now...

And I too am obsessed with my SiteMeter. Who knew that if you called them out in a public forum, these lurkers from awesome countries would respond! I'll have to try that some day...

11:27 AM  
Blogger Bone said...

You make me laugh.

Just a random thought. I haven't seen your site meter, but I would guess you probably have many readers in Alabama. And not like one guy, er, person, visiting five or six times a day.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Angela: I'm all for delurking...

Bone: according to my sitemeter I have like 40 people in Bama reading everyday. Crazy...;-)

1:05 PM  
Anonymous dcfullest said...

i have been getting a ton (well alot for me) of hits from Denmark as well-- I have never met anyone from Denmark before. strange.

1:05 PM  
Blogger DC Cookie said...

I adore your use of the word 'fuck.'

2:31 PM  
Blogger KassyK said...

I have been getting Denmark ALSO! And lots of Argentina and Holland?? And anyone in the US even going to my site....thats ok I heart foreigners.

Im feeling jittery too...whats up with that?

3:08 PM  
Blogger Stasi said...

i read form Slovakia, i think that's worth mention.
also before imoved here my hometown was mars, PA
and not a single mention

I'm not jittery just irritable

12:04 PM  
Anonymous Jorge said...

Don't you ever insult me with the word Molson again.

8:40 PM  
Blogger Sue Ellen Mischke said...

Maybe I should out the people on my sitemeter. I'm curious who some of them are. I'm also a little scared because I have someone who goes to my page easily 20 times/day.

9:19 PM  

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