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Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Cause and Effect

"It is easy to ignore responsibility when one is only an intermediate link in a chain of action." ~Stanley Milgram

The sable is currently covered in bird poop because it’s parked under a tree. It’s parked under a tree because I have yet to register my car in the District of Columbia. It’s only a minor detail that I’ve been driving in this district of ours for the past four years and that I have yet to get actual DC car insurance. I’m not all that keen on the whole insurance thing because it seems mighty complicated, I like to keep things as uncomplicated as possible. I can’t get registered (A) because of the car insurance and (B) because I actually owe the District roughly $60 in parking tickets. The parking tickets are as a result of being parked in a zone over the 2 hour time limit without the proper zoning sticker, which I don’t have because I’m not registered because of the aforementioned insurance issue.

Terrible with the paying of the parking tickets, would be an understatement. Sure, I know that I have the ticket, I can see it, I post it up on the bulletin board of me, right next to a captivating picture of me and Bill Cosby. I look at the bored, admire my former thin self and then a shiny object catches my eye and I forget about the parking tickets. But hey! At least I’m trying. It’s entirely better than before when I would freely allow myself to be towed and then cry about it to a parent (whichever parent less likely to hang up on me at the present moment) and have the ticket taken care of. I too am considerably shocked by the amount of responsibility I have. This, for you all playing at home, would be a big fat ZERO.

The other predicament is that I find myself lost in the traffic camera – snail mail space/time continuum. In which the amount of time that lapses between getting caught running a yellow light and the time that the ticket arrives to my mother’s house and the time which she notifies me to tell me that I have received said ticket and questions what I will be doing about it, is about 30 days. We’ll place 50% of the blame on me and my poor driving skills and 50% of the blame on my mother who doesn’t deem it all too necessary to actually open the mail once it’s received. Hell, I’m still not too sure that she actually goes to the mailbox daily, but that all is a different story entirely and we do not say bad things about Peg on this blog.

So for all I know, I could owe the district of Columbia upwards of $160 in parking tickets, which actually may have doubled by now because of the aforementioned great displays of otiose behavior. I’m on a roll here kids…quite literally a roll.


Blogger Liz said...

And yet you know how to use 'otiose' correctly in a sentence.

You rock.

3:32 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said... word of the day baby! Love it.

3:40 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

I used to think I was the only one who signed up for Word of the Day emails. You and me be soulmates.

6:39 PM  
Blogger RoarSavage said...

I feel your pain: I just paid the district around $600 to clear my tags. If I could just find the title, I could go get DC ones now... :(

So when are we hanging out?

8:42 AM  
Anonymous Jorge said...

a) Jim Samuels is not that funny because that makes no sense.
b) You should just send them the parking tickets back with the word VOID written on them in thick black permament marker.

8:50 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Liz: Are you kidding me?? I signed up for that sucker when I was studying for the GRE. My mother was also slightly annoyed that she had spent a few hundred grand on an education and the only words I used were 'fuck' 'shit' and 'ok'

roary: Exactly, which is why I'll be damned if I'm doing anything about it anytime soon. It's less for me to pay the tickets than to change my tags etc.

Jorge: good lord man! I changed the quote. Happy? and hahahahahaha, I might do that.

9:00 AM  
Blogger Bone said...

Ugh, I hate the traffic cameras. Really takes away the human element. The always pleasant interaction between law enforcement person and driver.

9:00 AM  
Anonymous Jorge said...

You didn't have to change the quote on my account, Heather!


But I appreciate it.

3:27 PM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I specifically remember setting off the speed cameras on Michigan but never getting a ticket. I must have been driving alongside someone else, rendering the traffic people unable to tell who was the speeder. So I guess my advice is, always speed when you're next to another car.

3:46 PM  
Anonymous Jacynth said...

I'm a fan of as well. Good work! Sounds like a vicious circle to me. Just imagine forming a circle with your hands and growling, which makes a vicious circle. That funny should keep your mind off of this for oh, I'd say a good 10 seconds.

4:30 PM  

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