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Friday, May 05, 2006

Just Do It

I can do as much shameless pimping as my little heart desires...

“Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday.” ~Don Marquis

I have a little problem. Actually I have many problems, too enumerable to name right this second, but I digress. I, Heather Barmore, am a serial procrastinator. To make matters worse, my middle initial should be ‘I’ for 'indolence'. Thereby making me an indolent, procrastinator with a penchant for pessimism and malaise; I bet you really want to be my friend now.

For instance at this very second, I need to send out an email to my nearest and dearest to fundraise for the Race for the Cure, I also need to fix my resume as it had been ripped a new asshole (via red pen) last Saturday. Since that fateful day, looking at it throws me into convulsions. I should also be doing obvious work type things and my desk looks like the 3M Corporation threw up all over it. Instead, I’m watching CNN – the only reason I switched over to CNN from MTV’s non stop showing of MSSS and Tiara Girls was because TRL was on and I hate TRL, with vehement passion and all. So now, CNN and am enjoying a snack of Triscuits and laughing cow cheese.

And did I mention the tapeworm? Ye old tapeworm has decided to bear it’s ugly head once again and I really must say that Indian food, a waffle and a bowl of cinnamon toast crunch are not the best dinner.

So, you know that’s where I’m at right now. Slightly spastic and my nose is doing this weird thing where too much air gets in. I’m upset because I’m using too much oxygen.

Holy hell, why do I bother writing, nay breathing some days?

Also, because I’m going through these really difficult times of consuming too much of the air in my office building and contemplating a membership to Overeaters Anonymous, I found this at Jurgen’s site (Su boredom es mi boredom). So feel free to share, or not (my answers are in bold):

1. What is the ONE blog you couldn't live without, the one that you would choose if you could only read just one per day. And by 'ONE' she means 'TWO'. Amalah. I’m not a girl, not yet a wino.

2. I realized yesterday that I had been sucking my water through a moldy straw. I know. What is the worst thing you can remember eating, either on purpose or accidentally? Ok, that first part didn’t happen to me, but I did once eat an ant. On purpose. And once a spider, accidentally on purpose to freak my mother out.

3. The Tom thing brings up an interesting question for me. What two celebrities - male and female - would you choose to permanently disable their vocal cords so they would fade far, far away into obscurity where they belong? Britney Spears and George W. Bush

4. What is your "guilty pleasure" food and TV show? Cinnabons (first runner up: McDonald’s fish fillets) and A Baby Story.

5. How long do you think you'll be blogging? Do you think it's just a passing interest or do you see this sticking with you? At least until August 8th as that is my blogiversary, but the way things are going now, maybe Monday.


Anonymous Jorge said...

1. a: Touch You Last. b: I'm not a girl, not yet a wino.

2. A piece of salami that was sol old that all of the colour had leaked out of it, rendering it translucent.

3. Female: Jessica Simpson Male: Charlize Theron What?

4. Food: McDonalds Bacon & Egg McMuffins TV SHow: House

5. I don't see an end. I can find meaning in almost anything. Whether or not I will have readers by then is another question.

3:05 PM  
Blogger Saron said...

I too, am a serial procrastinator. Last week, you might have thought you had a blog stalker in Amsterdam (moi). In actuality, I was just procrasinating studying. Now that my finals are over, I will check your blog once, max twice per day, like a normal person would.

My husband is the opposite of a procrastinator and I swear his stress level is way lower than mine as a result of it. But will we ever learn?

3:06 PM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

I love lists. I'm a sucker. I'm posting this on my site as well.

3:07 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Jorge: Nice.

Saron: I'M GOING TO MAOZ TOMORROW!!!!!!! (Not in Amsterdam but in Philly, but whoooot!)

MappyB: cool cool.

3:24 PM  
Blogger Sue Ellen Mischke said...

I know what you are talking about when your nose does that thing when it lets too much air in. I have a big Italian nose so it's really painful. I'm glad I'm not alone.

7:38 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

You have a tapeworm? I have always wanted one of those, just to lose a few pounds.

Why are you looking at me like that?

6:35 AM  
Anonymous nabbalicious said...

Whoops, anonymous is I, Nabbalicious.

6:35 AM  
Blogger Kris said...

You = Wonkette rock star. HOLLA!

The fact that you mentioned me as a fave blog makes me even more sure that I will remain your friend. Wuh?

Love you, my cinnabon.

8:03 PM  
Anonymous Jorge said...


Kris still comments on blogs? I mean, I thought that she was ignoring everyone.

I suppose I've fallen off the radar after I couldn't quote Cleveland 24/7.

Oh how the mighty have fallen!


8:45 AM  

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