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Thursday, May 11, 2006


"A vacation is what you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking." ~Earl Wilson

Five days.

Five mother fucking days.

Five days in which I cannot use the phrase ‘mother fucker’.

But that’s ok, because a certain pretty person who has only threatened about 20 times that since “she brought me into this world, she’ll take me out”, is allowing me the use of her picturesque home in Martha’s Vineyard (there’s a porch! With a swing! And bikes!) for FIVE WHOLE DAYS. Even better, she’ll be there too. This means five whole days of free-loading and offered things like free meals and shoes and ice cream. This is what I have always pictured Heaven to be like; me, living as a spoiled brat, with a mother who will entertain the idea of wine tastings. HA! I made her appreciate wine tastings (and soon the world will be mine!)

So we’ll stop with the hyperbolic dreary pablum that has spewed forth from these fingers and instead go for something delicious and wonderful like pan seared spicy tuna, garlic mashed potatoes, and fresh clams with bellies to boot.

Anyway, I think we can all agree that I’ve been a petulant child as of late with a penchant for malaise and tears. Ok, let’s just call me a bitch and leave it at that (the first step towards recovery is admitting that you have a problem). And we won’t speak of the very bad thing that my procrastination has led to because that will cause me to cry into my diet coke and there will be A LOT of groveling. Nope. Won’t go there. Instead, we’ll only speak of beaches and sun and the days after Martha’s Vineyard when Dear Old Peg will be gracing the nation’s capital with her presence, which means Acadiana (or perhaps Oceanaire, maybe Filomena? 1789 if I feel like getting hit by a bitch with a popped collar and a beemer). More ‘whee!’ and less tears would be greatly appreciated.

Some days, it’s nice to look forward to the good rather than dwell on the bad. Or at least, that’s the plan for today and if we’re lucky, for the next two weeks as well.


Blogger RoarSavage said...

Aaaaw, I love Mommy time! Have fun!! (And def do Acadiana).

8:46 AM  
Anonymous Jorge said...

I'm glad you're looking forward with a more happy attitude.

I was so ready to fly down and kick your ass.

Making aprons macho since 2006.

9:44 AM  
Anonymous nabbalicious said...

Ugh! So jealous! Everyone's getting all these nice vacations. Have a swell time!!

10:15 AM  
Blogger Buffy said...

Now that's what I call R&R.

12:33 PM  
Anonymous Sweet said...

have fun chicadee!

1:20 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Roary: We did Acadiana last time, so I think maybe 1789, but we shall see.

Jorge: you should still come down!

Nabb: I mean it's no Atlantis, but still very good and very free

Buffy: oh yeah.

Sweet: Gracias

And just so y'all know, I haven't left just yet. Two weeks from today, but I'm still pumped.

1:45 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

How much do I love that you just used the word "pablum" in a sentence?

1:59 PM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

Oh, you lucky, lucky child! Have fun. Post pictures. Drink vodka during the day :)

2:03 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Angela: pablum is a wonderful and useful word and describes to perfection the trite crap I write here. So, I am now embracing it.

Marci: I'm not sure how my mother would feel about me drinking vodka during the day, but then again she also makes a mean low carb daquiri, so we'll see what we can do about that.

3:26 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sounds like you will have fun!
It was great seeing you again, btw! :-)

3:52 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

The picture looks like Heaven.

So jealous.

(and ice cream? Have some for me!)

11:11 PM  

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