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Friday, May 19, 2006


“Shyness has a strange element of narcissism, a belief that how we look, how we perform, is truly important to other people.” ~André Dubus

Contrary to popular belief I’m not gregarious in fact I would be the complete antithesis and would call myself painfully, nausea inducing, shy. Why is probably why I’ve managed to hone in on my misanthropic skills and have managed to remain single for all of these years.

Let’s just say another stellar example of my bashful tendencies occurred last evening during a book signing party for the wonderful, non-extrovert Marcos Salazar. In fact Marcos had invited me to his book signing completely out of the blue and I responded because (a) I should get out of the house once in awhile and (b) it’s hard to turn down someone who had once been featured on Daily Candy (if any other daily candy peeps who are avid readers of this prosaic crap would like to give me anything, call me). So, Marcos invited, I accepted and then I also gladly accepted a free (!) copy of the book.

Here is where I pimp Marcos’ book. Pimpage is fun: The Turbulent Twenties Survival Guide, just so happens to be right up my alley. Whereas I look at my twenties from a purely narcissistic standpoint, he looks at his twenties from a psychological point of view, which is significantly less tiring than ‘me, me, me’ every damn day. From what I gathered, Marcos is also considerably smarter and more adjusted than I and so hopefully the reading will do me some good.

Here is where I point out my awful misanthropy: I attended the party – at La Tasca no less – for a grand total of 23 minutes. 23!! I became so overcome by my nervousness that I couldn’t even stay long enough to finish my sangria and instead ran like a little bitch upstairs to continuously text my best friend and cop free drinks off of the bartender that I went to college with. Little. Bitch. I. Am.

To reward myself for spending a whole 23 minutes at the party, I purchased a shirt from Urban Outfitters. Baby steps people, baby steps. I bet some psychology would be good for me though.


Anonymous Jorge said...

Maybe you should hang out with me. I can teach you the ropes to get around the 23 minute mark.

Most of those involve bad jokes and drinking a lot, both of which I am an accomplshed artist of.


1:59 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Baby steps ARE good! Honestly, I could happily live life as a hermit, but you do have to get out every now and then, and to me it sounds like you get your fair share of social interaction ;) No worries about you turning into Nell or anything, I don't think. But it's good to reward yourself for those little steps. I've been buying things to make me feel better lately. I have a lot of new shoes now...

2:47 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

J: I stayed and had my drink but I seriously knew NO ONE. And now I kind of feel like a toold for admitting to being so nervous, but it was awful. God, I suck.

Angela: Thank you! I do go out a lot and let's not get into the number of bloggers I've met though usually I'm drunk (I can think of two times that I've met bloggers while not drunk but both were in intimate settings), I just get nervous that's all. Something else to conquer.

3:03 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

You, shy? I admit that surprises me. You totally don't come across that way on the Internet.

Hey, how would someone come across as shy on the Internet? Hum...

I am still totally jealous when bloggers say they've met other bloggers. The only other blogger I've met? NOBODY. Yep, no blogger live on the West Coast.

And if they do, they must not want to meet me and Bob.

3:42 PM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

I totally met Marcos Salazar at a coffeeshop in the city a few months ago. He asked for my e-mail address to put me on a list to attend his booksigning, but then I never got invited. *Sob!* You must be far cooler than I am.

4:40 PM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

Um, I've never met you in an "intimate setting"...shit, I must not be as cute as I think I am :)

But folks I HAVE seen her drunk. And it IS all that it's cracked up to be.

4:57 PM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Reminds me of a song: "I am the son and the heir of a shyness that is criminally vulgar . . ."

6:56 PM  
Blogger jackt said...

Hahaha! At least you had the good sense to leave. Sometimes when i get party anxiety I stand in a corner and talk to myself. That really scares everyone else away and adds to the anxiety!

Nice blog! Just found it!

8:55 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Isabel: If I could, I would be on the first flight to Seattle. I would love to meet you and Bob.

MG!: Ha, far from it.

Marci: Me drunk? Never...

DKN: That I am.

jackt: Ok, well I've never just stood there and talked to myself, but maybe I'll try that next time. What I do do though, which is considerably worse, I talk on my cell phone. Lord knows what will happen if I ever get a crackberry, I'll be completely unsocial.

8:01 AM  
Blogger RoarSavage said...

You stayed out way longer on Saturday. I'm so glad, too. It was mucho fun seeing you.

9:23 AM  
Blogger Cheetarah1980 said...

Free drinks are an excellent trade off. Were you really missing anything?

9:14 PM  

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