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Sunday, June 11, 2006

In the Queue

Disclaimer: Word on the street is that in a year or so, I’ll want to kick the people at Netflix in their respective baby making parts, because I will no longer be a valuable customer to them, and they will in turn start sending me crap movies. Until then, I am basking in the glory that it is and have turned it into a lovely little masterpiece (HA!) for B4B. And Dagny just gave me this idea, bonus points/love/undying affection/whatever else you can think of, goes to the person who can name all of the movies that I have alluded to.

“Through the magic of motion pictures, someone who's never left Peoria knows the softness of a Paris spring, the colour of a Nile sunset, the sorts of vegetation one will find along the upper Amazon and that Big Ben has not yet gone digital." -Vincent Canby

I once owned a TalkBoy, which G and I would carry around religiously. We even brought it to Manhattan, the scene of Kevin McCallister’s latest caper, and carried it through FAO Schwartz. On that first trip to FAO Schwartz, I tried to play Heart and Soul on the floor piano like Josh Baskin but minus the creepy fortune teller machine to turn me into a 33 year old overnight.

Come to think of it, I never thought that I could turn a beast back into a prince, be a live pawn on a board game or that mermaids could learn to walk (but I did believe in mermaids). And yet, I will admit to clapping so that Tinkerbell could fly and seriously deliberating what would happen if my father shrunk us in a science experiment gone awry.

Garrett and I forced the padres to purchase a tree house, so we could conjure up imaginary meals and scream ‘Rufio’ at the top of our lungs. Our neighbors? Well, they were rarely seen and I’m quite sure that their eldest son was the perfect likeness to Sloth – bald head, giant fucked up eye and all - but finding him would never lead to any lost treasure. And sadly, Corey Feldman – hunk that he was – wouldn't be there either.

To this day, I have a serious and unrelenting fear that a clown will murder me and that a psychotic, red headed doll will come out of its package and bludgeon me to death. If I could look those two up, I would, but I would like to sleep with the lights off tonight.

I was even most certain that my father, with the aid of latex and a body suit, could turn himself into a convincing – yet ass ugly - female nanny to care for us while my mother worked.

Just last night, my ice cold, tar black heart turned into a giant pile of mush; my eyes welled up with tears as I got that all too familiar lump in the back of my throat. If Noah and Allie could find each other again, then surely there is hope for me. Next week? I’ll believe and begin praying for a guy with a boom box (or I suppose an ipod or XM) and an ugly trench coat to stand outside of my window and profess his undying love for me.

Therein lies the beauty of a movie…that magic and power to make a small child believe that a baseball team will come out of a corn field (I was totally convinced) or that every girl will find her own Lloyd Dobler and live happily ever after.


Blogger dee said...

Love this entry!
And Lloyd Dobler? Still responsible for one of the best post-break-up lines in film history...
"I gave her my heart and she gave me a pen."

8:44 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Ok, how sad is it that I've never actually seen Say Anything?? I mean, it's next in my queue, but still...I feel like i've spent the last several years living under a rock.

9:12 PM  
Blogger darlin nikki said...

My second favorite quote from Say Anything (the 1st Dee already mentioned): "I don't want to sell anything, buy anything, or process anything as a career. I don't want to sell anything bought or processed, or buy anything sold or processed, or process anything sold, bought, or processed, or repair anything sold, bought, or processed." Seriously, cracks me up!

12:34 AM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Well... I've had Netflix for well over a year and I don't want to kick them, but I don't know... maybe I should??

And crazy that this is the second reference to Lloyd Dobler I've seen on a blog today! (And I love B4B, but I've never had the guts to submit anything--good luck to you!)

11:24 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Good Lord, I returned American Psycho today, so here's hoping for Say Anything by wednesday. Apparently, this is a must see movie or something...

12:49 PM  
Anonymous Sweet said...

Unrelated comment. Good seeing ya Friday, even tho it was for all of 5 seconds! :-)

12:53 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

Yes, Say Anything is a must see. A few years ago I had a student ask me if he should watch it. I told him that he should and would not tell him anything about the movie. The day after he saw it, he mentioned the scene with Lloyd playing the Peter Gabriel in the middle of the street. I looked at my student and said,"I didn't tell you anything because I wanted to see if you noticed the scene on your own. That's the one that everyone loves." It's good to see that some things never change.

OK, and maybe I watch way too many movies because I think I was able to name every movie that you mentioned in your post.

2:29 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Sweet: We must see each other more often! :-(

Dagny: Your comment just gave me an idea. Or maybe I just wanted to check and see if anyone else in the world spent 85% of their time watching movies. But if you can correctly name all the movies, then I'll totally heart you.

2:42 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Send Cusack to my house when you're done with him...

3:04 PM  
Anonymous sandra said...

Although I don't know why I'd ever need to, I still would never even ponder looking in the mirror and saying "Candyman" three times.

11:34 PM  
Blogger Bone said...

Cusack rocks. (Is it still hip and dope to say something rocks?)

And I'm with Sandra on the Candyman thing. I can get to two. But never three.

10:39 PM  

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