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Monday, June 12, 2006

Laissez-faire

“It takes about ten years to get used to how old you are.” ~Quoted by Raymond A. Michel in The Leaf

In a momentary lapse of sanity and judgment and forgetfulness that I still had not started contributing to my 401K* and therefore might end up both alone and broke in about 40 years; I bought a Kate Spade bag in a sample sale.

While men may not give two shits about Kate Spade, unless say she started making beer, women know who she is. And women dress and accessorize for other women**. Which is something that I have no problem admitting: I could care less about what some guy thinks of my multi-purpose black leather Coach bag, but women can judge, so judge they will.

So, I bought the bag, but prior to buying the bag, I had to call Peg to get her advice. A $70 Kate Spade bag is ridiculously cheap and it was an investment of sorts. It’s a good and functional spring/summer bag that would be considerably nicer than the aforementioned black leather bag. It’s also cute and charming and screams “Hello world, Summer is here.”

Given that Peg regularly ignores my calls, when she finally phoned back, the bag had been purchased via check card because Credit cards are the product of the Devil and an evil capitalist society.

I told her the reason for my very important call and she asked whether or not I had seen the piece on the Today Show or some such shit and I said no. “Well today’s younger generation are too molly coddled by their parents. Why do you need my permission to purchase something? You all are too needy…” Blah blah blah, you get the point. Us Gen Yers (or whatever the hell we’re referred to now. I once heard ‘spoiled’) are too dependent on our parents.

My response to this was two fold. First, sophomore year, there was an incident involving a Platinum card and several shopping trips to Lucky Brand because new jeans are an emergency. Come to find out that new jeans are only an emergency if the ones you are currently wearing are packed with explosives and/or are currently on fire. Anyway, since that incident I’ve been cautious with how I spend. Two, and within that same vein, I just like to have my mother’s opinion sometimes. Is that wrong? I like the reassurance that something is an actual investment as opposed to frivolous spending. This is a woman who once yelled at me for not having a perfect coif and not having my eyebrows perfectly arched, because those are apparently necessities; even if one's daughter cannot afford such necessities.

Ok, that may not have been the greatest example ever in life, but you get it. I ask because I MUST KNOW, because I’m unsure sometimes and I just want my mother to say “Hey, it’s ok to spend on yourself. Especially since you spend much of your time being puked and pooped on by children that aren’t yours. It’s ok to spend $70 on a bag”

I need affirmation on things. I need to know what’s ok and what is not. I need to know whether or not I’m writing well, if I’m doing a good job or if I should just stop asking. I need to know that it’s perfectly acceptable to spend my own damn money, however I choose because it’s MINE. ALLL MINE.

The other reason I ask my parents if it’s ok to do things? Because I’m just a wee bit afraid of letting go. I like having that safety net there and relying on someone who is a bonafide responsible adult – with like a mortgage and shit – to help me, even when it comes to the little things.

Of course one day, I’ll stop, but for now it makes me feel better. Is that so wrong?

*before I get emails and comments about how irresponsible that is, I did it today so everyone calm down.

**this leads to further discussion as to why someone on the metro stared me down, when she saw my bag from a ridiculously over priced shoe store as if to say “why would YOU be buying shoes from there?!” And yes, I am so over this. Or not.

19 Comments:

Blogger Liz said...

A few months back I spent $315 on a pair of (sale) shoes. I still occasionally ask my husband if that was obscene, even though he truly couldn't care less.

We all need affirmation sometimes.

9:49 AM  
Anonymous jonniker said...

So, a few things. You're 23, right? Give yourself a big ole break, because yes, 401K is important, but so is getting on your own two feet first, which takes about a year or so. It's okay, really, and not at all irresponsible to figure that out first.

And second, a $70 Kate Spade bag? Um, that's wonderful. WONDERFUL. Yes, yes YES it's a good thing you bought it. Man ALIVE.

10:48 AM  
Anonymous Whinger said...

Let's not talk about the 401k. It makes me break out in hives.

Let's DO talk about the bag, which was a steal. Excellent work. And call your mom about purses if she has good fashion sense, no matter your age. Do NOT, under any circumstances, call mine.

11:19 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Liz: My first pair of expensive shoes, I did not ask about and therefore got a little talking to when I received that 'thank you for shopping' card from the store. 'Talk' meaning "HOW MUCH DID YOU SPEND ON THOSE SHOES?!?!"

Jonniker: I was awaiting the 401K thing until I got my shit together and got a raise. I almost have the former and just got the latter, so now I shall retire as a millionaire. Or at least a 700 thousand-aire.

Whinger: Got it. And Peg has excellent fashion taste which is always helpful.

11:36 AM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

If you had passed up a $70 designer bag (assuming it's a cute one and not a hideous one) I would have stepped on your foot, or something equally hurtful.

So, good for you! And also...I am,like, totally way older than you and, like, I still call my Mommy to have her reassure me that what I am doing is ok. This is the reason I have orange bedding now and $300 less in my savings account for a car.

11:39 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

When I receive the bag, I will post pictures.

And Marci, please do not step on my precious, pedicured foot...thanks.

11:50 AM  
Blogger Dagny said...

My mother is a shopaholic. This is the woman who will call me to say, "I was shopping today and came across this fabulous dress that's on sale and it was only available in your size so I had them hold it. Hurry up and get over to the store."

Oh, and thank you for the link to the sale because now I'm trying to figure out which bag I really need.

1:08 PM  
Anonymous TJ said...

$70.00 I would have no problem with...but over $300.00 for a bag? Only If I could buy something. :-)

2:14 PM  
Blogger mdvelazquez said...

A $70 Kate Spade bag is a HAD-TO.

The woman on the metro was probably GREEN with jealousy. ;-)

Maria

2:47 PM  
Blogger jackt said...

It's nice to be close to your parents, no? Kate Spade. Is she like, married to David Spade? :)

5:13 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Dagny: dude, the sale is unbelievable. Get a bag.

TJ: They make men's stuff...

MDV: I think so as well

Jackt: As a matter of fact, David Spade is Kate Spade's brother in law. So there's your answer.

5:18 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

Oh my god... I was so so so super excited that I might possibly be able to justify buying my first fancy bag, until I saw that the sale was over on Thursday, and payday is Friday!

I'm heartbroken.

7:17 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Um, $70 for a KATE SPADE bag?? I think we all would have ganged up on you and kicked your ass if you HADN'T bought that!!

And also, your mom totally cracks me up--she sounds like such a cool person!

8:14 PM  
Blogger Bre said...

Rock! The thought of the Kate Spade Sample Sale makes my checkbook skip a beat! I have a lot of those moments myself, as I'm within check cashing distance of the Coach outlet... it's quite dangerous

10:27 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

I have looked at the bags. I then called my aunt and told her the prices. She said, "Kate Spade for what? Oh, you have to get one." Now I'm just trying to narrow down my choice.

10:49 PM  
Blogger Lena said...

Totally reasonable. I *laugh* at $70 for a Kate Spade! I don't actually have $70, but I still laugh!

Also, I'm on my way over now. You must post pics of the one you got!

Oh, and I hardly get dressed without my mother's opinion. Sad, yes.

11:22 PM  
Blogger Lena said...

UPDATED TO ADD: Thank youuuuu very much Heather. I just spent $250.

But my bag is FABULOUS!!! I'm posting it tomorrow. I'm giddy. You're my new BF.

11:56 PM  
Blogger Sue Ellen Mischke said...

My mom has access to my online checking account. She emails me when my account gets low, which is like twice a pay period. We talk on the phone at least 3-4 times/week and I see her at least 2-3 times/week. I'm 29. Talk about afraid of letting go....

Kate Spade is a annoying devil whore. $70 is a good deal though.

6:49 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I wonder if they'll give me a bag for free, now that I have pimped them so awesomely?

And Lena, I'll bring my bag to SJ if you bring yours...

7:07 AM  

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