In the event that you ever need to give someone a quick fastball to the head; a pocket sized Mariano Rivera should do the trick. 99.9% effective.
Contrary to popular belief, there are people out there who find me none too humorous and pretty damn boring. Here our subject plans his eventual escape.
I have no clue as to the location of my phillip's head screwdriver or a hammer, but I sure as hell know where I keep my bottle opener.
*props to Marci for attending the game with me. Also props to Amalah and Jason for their awesome kid.