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Friday, June 23, 2006

X and Y

“All men are not slimy warthogs. Some men are silly giraffes, some woebegone puppies, some insecure frogs. But if one is not careful, those slimy warthogs can ruin it for all the others.” ~Cynthia Heimel

I rely heavily upon and as such, I decided to take a stab at looking up the definitions for Boy and Man, respectively.



An immature or inexperienced man, especially a young man.



An adult male human.

A human regardless of sex or age; a person.


  1. A husband.
  2. A male lover or sweetheart.

First pointing out that there were more definitions for Boy, but the others had equally as unhelpful description and one was an offensive one that described a male servant or valet.

That said, it’s an age old conundrum and debate as to what really defines a Boy versus a Man. And given that I have never had any interest in debating these merits, it comes as somewhat of a shock to myself that my interest has suddenly surfaced.

My experience with those holding an XY chromosome is pretty standard and rather uneventful, gay male and future seer sucker wearing nitwit, not withstanding. Which is why the general surprise for suddenly being interested in anything that men do (or do not) do. But thinking about it now, I find it quite simple really: I know have some sort of comparisons to make.

You see, I have acquired two friends. Two deliciously wonderful friends, Jorge and Bri. Neither of whom have discovered that I am in fact, an awful friend who gets jealous and doesn’t know that sharing means caring. But they’ve accepted my lush status and so, so far, so good.

Nevertheless, both are men. In the age sense and in the ‘so this is what a man should be like’ sense. Or at least, this is what an actual man should be like if he went so far as to remove his head from his rectum.

What amazes me about both of them is that they are both truly wonderful people with nary a harmful thing to say. Jorge is a self proclaimed fierce friend, who has gone so far as to prove that. And well Bri and I are nothing a like on paper (which shall be attributed to him) and yet I can spend hours with him drunk and suddenly everything is hilarious, even though neither of us can ever remember what we were laughing about in the first place.

With both men, it goes beyond the fact that they make me laugh and compliment the shit out of me, it’s the way they both speak of their wives. There’s an air there; these are women that they love the spit out of and have nothing but admiration and respect for. I had the pleasure of seeing Jorge with his wife one weekend and there were those little moments that an observer rarely notices, that can send a heart a flutter. Though I’ve never met Bri’s wife, he couldn’t stop speaking of her or of his children. While some would find that annoying, I found it endearing.

It’s like a punch in the gut, when you realize that there are actual men out there who can be sweet and thoughtful. These are the men that have no qualms about telling me how they really feel about the person that they love most in the world. That punch in the gut is an awareness of wanting that same thing for myself. Both scary and utterly natural.

The only sad thing now is an understanding that I live in Washington, DC. Where the boys are actual frat boys who think that Mr. Smith’s is a good time or men, who believe that being on a crackberry all damn day, makes them holier than thou. But it’s nice to have an understanding that there is life outside the beltway and know that there is a some day.


Blogger Hey Pretty said...

I'm always referring to the guys in my life as boys. Recently my mom asked me what my criteria was for calling a guy a man because she has never heard me do it. I said I didn't know but that I would know it when I saw it. Then she said "If I date a 60 year old guy tomorrow can I call him a man or would he still be a boy?" I told her he'd still probably be a boy.

10:52 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

My guy friends are about half and half. Some boys, some men, but equally as fun and hilarious.

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Boy - Any individual of the male species who shows the slightest interest in Angela.

Man - antonym: Boy

It's a rather specific definition, but I can assure you of its truth.

1:59 PM  
Blogger RoarSavage said...

"...there is a some day." How perfectly apropos. Hugs!

2:32 PM  
Anonymous Amy said...

As a resident of Los Angeles (for 5 more weeks), I understand the issues with the boys in the area. Although your local boys are political-whores and mine are movie-whores, I think it all boils down to publicity-whoredom, and they are the same.

But, I found a man. (which sounds dreadfully archaic when put that way.) And now we're leaving LA. So...there definitely is a someday, and it's nice to know that Hollywood (or the beltway) doesn't get them all.

3:18 PM  
Anonymous Wry Bri said...


And to think... I was going to talk about my mother! Good thing!


3:39 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

I am guilty of often using the term "boys" because I figure that they can't be called "men" until they start acting like grown-ups. Over the years at work, I have had the pleasure of meeting men. And I always feel the way that you do -- that any man who speaks so glowingly of his wife just gives you hope that there are some good ones out there.

7:34 PM  
Blogger Sue Ellen Mischke said...

I'm still trying to figure out if mine is a man or a boy, but he's getting closer to a man everyday. I love hearing men talk fondly of their wives as well. I feel like people have come to accept, expect even, hearing men speak negatively of their wives, and vice versa, and I think it's sad. Why be with a man or woman (or boy) if you can't think of a single nice thing to say about him/her?

9:47 PM  
Anonymous Caryn said...

Oh, crap. I was so afraid you would say they were married or gay. But at least it gives you hope for the future. As for whether human males are men or boys, I'll make it simple: All men are boys, but not all boys are men. So there. :-D

3:05 PM  
Blogger darlin nikki said...

Ha, Crackberry, could be a cereal! A true test of the difference is when 'I'll call you' actually results in a phone call one way or the other. What is UP with that?!@

5:11 PM  
Blogger jackt said...

Well said. Real men live up to their responsibilities to their families and do it wholeheartedly.

1:11 AM  
Blogger Karyn said...

I really, really, really hate Mr. Smith's.....really.

12:32 PM  

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