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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

San ho*

“I have accepted fear as a part of life - specifically the fear of change.... I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.” ~Erica Jong

My leasing office has officially and successfully taken away my will to live. They’ve been at this for some time, but it has finally happened. And I bet they’re sitting over in their shabby office toiling away with other ways to make me absolutely miserable. It’s hard to go on and get happy when you’re seriously on the verge of tears.

I suppose I should cherish my upcoming time in San Jose as opposed to contemplating where the best bench in McPherson Square is. Ya know, in the event of becoming homeless. Most everything is done. I’m prepared to live blog (CSS is fun! Wheeee!) and have also offered my free babysitting services to Amy in return for her at least pretending that I am a nice and cool person. I’ve already notified Kris and Stacy that I will be bringing Velcro so that I can stick myself too them without too much hassle. And I have my favorite Miss Sixty sandals packed…you know, that one item that everyone asks about, but I get to say ‘Too bad Sucka! You can only get these babies in Puerta del Sol’. But I might be nicer about it given that the whole point of this event is to be nice to people and get to know my common (wo) man.

The part that is irking me right now and forcing me to question my judgment is that in preparation of my nerves and the amount of alcohol I plan to drink, I turned to my old friend nicotine. I know, it’s awful and horrible and I deserve to die. I don’t know why I did it, but I did and though it’s sad it will help and give me something to do with my hands while everyone else is laughing and smiling like normal fully functional people.

So now, come on, get happy and I will pretend to do the same: For it is the story of my life to be fearful of the unknown and to announce my intentions to latch on to others; when in all honesty I doubt that there will be very little of that and these feelings will abate themselves in 24 hours time. It only makes me immensely thankful that I have friends who I can confess my unfounded and irrational nerves to and they in turn are more than willing to give support and resist the urge to kick me in the face.

*A term stolen from Lena


Anonymous Whinger said...

Ah nicotine. It'll always take you back. :)

12:31 PM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

You're going to have so much fun. Take photos for us!!!

3:32 PM  
Blogger Pioneer Woman said...

I LOVE your "About Me" photo. Dang.

3:45 PM  
Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

Leasing offices are evil and must die.

Have a great time at BlogHer!!!

12:15 PM  
Anonymous Jacynth said...

Ooh, have a ton o fun at BlogHer....maybe the leasing office will actually be nice when you get back?

6:55 PM  
Blogger Malnurtured Snay said...

Leasing offices and agents are evil and must die.

(You're not a leasing agent, are you? Because if you are, I'd feel really fucking bad).

9:43 PM  
Anonymous Jorge said...

Wait until BlogHurl in October or november.

That will be even BETTER!


8:47 AM  
Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

have so much fun - can't wait to hear!

10:54 AM  
Anonymous Angela said...

I'm so envious of you!! Have an amazing time and be sure to tell us EVERYTHING when you get back!

11:04 AM  
Anonymous MappyB said...

Oh, and I feel you on the leasing office thing. Our's is evicting us December 1st, since our building was bought out due to development.

6:31 AM  

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