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Sunday, August 20, 2006

Adventures in spinsterhood: Part the 485th

“Solitude never hurt anyone. Emily Dickinson lived alone, and she wrote some of the most beautiful poetry the world has ever known... then went crazy as a loon.” ~ Lisa Simpson

While being of the tender age of 22 doesn’t necessarily resign me to a fate of spinsterhood. And yet what would you call two solid weekends in a row of “Make it work” and “Carry on” with a dash of vino on the side? Indolence perhaps or sheer exhaustion or maybe I just need some solid alone time when I’m not completely depressed and talking myself from throwing myself off of a metro platform. Been there, done that and am over it. But still spending much time alone with my pals Melky and Robinson (they're in Boston and I am here. They also are completely unaware of my existence) and then the driving range, which is solid time alone but with a large metal stick: Much better to hit people with, my dear.

Who am I kidding though? What I’m really doing is relishing in the finale of my two months of complete solitude in a spacious two bedroom condo. It has been two solid months of putting off doing the dishes for days and leaving my mail strewn about and…well…walking around the apartment SANS CLOTHES a glass of wine (or coffee, depending on the hour). It’s GLORIOUS, friends. I think that in my mind I’m gearing up for The Midterms and the onslaught of a new roommate who will return to red wine splattered all over the kitchen. Note to self: Be careful with the cork, lest you want it floating around in your precious Malbec. Sadly, the roommate doesn’t drink and who I doubt, will be empathetic towards a lost cork. She won’t understand how devastating it is to the wine.

See? I need to get out more.

The above statement couldn’t be more true. All this time indoors with the second season of Tim, Heidi and Co, finds me thinking that Tim Gunn at Red Lobster is the funniest thing ever, even though it’s from like 1858 or something. Second note to self: Get thee out of the house. Stat.


Blogger Lizzie said...

I didn't know you were a Melky and Cano fan. Loveslovesloves me some Robbie Cano. Yummy.

8:22 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I didn't tell you that Robinson and I were dating? No? Sorry. That's because you've been gone for so long that I forget to mention these things. ;-)

8:54 AM  
Anonymous stalicious said...

Tim Gunn at Red Lobster is hilarious. Don't feel bad about that.

9:06 AM  
Blogger MKD said...

Wow. I agree with your talking to yourself. Leave your house now.

12:33 PM  
Blogger Jess said...

you know, I say "make it work" all the time now...

only the cool people get the joke, however.

1:34 PM  
Blogger Washington Cube said...

Well, I'm going to be a pedantic bore. Emily Dickinson lived with her sister, Lavinia and pre-deceased her sister by several years. Their brother Austin and his wife Susan lived next door in a house built for Austin by Emily's father. She stayed in her room when neighbors or strangers were in the house. She did lead a reduced social existence, and I hear ya when I get that way, I often think of Emily. It can produce creative bursts. It can also become unhealthy and regressive.

I am loving Tim Gunn to DEATH. Did you know he's from D.C.? What I want to know is: why is that idiot Vincent and that hater Jeffrey still on the show when their work has fallen far below poor rainbow brite pony Alison's. Unless Vincent pulls some magic fabric rabbit out of his bag of tricks this week, I can't see him lasting much longer. Time for him to be auf.

4:11 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

I should point out that that quote is from Lisa Simpson, as in Matt Groening, Lisa Simpson, as in she's a cartoon and I am an uncultured swine and have never read Emily Dickinson.

Anyway, carry on.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Dr. Kenneth Noisewater said...

Spinster is okay. It's when you graduate to OLD MAID that you have to start getting out more.

6:44 PM  

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