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Monday, August 14, 2006

A little random never hurt anybody

“Brain, n. An apparatus with which we think that we think.” ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary

Normally the problems that I may project are not really problems, but more like expanding on the banal and making things far bigger than they actually are. If I were to inflate every other problem that came across my path, then last week would have been full of ‘shits’ ‘damns’ and ‘fucking bitches’ because that’s what I was feeling. I would have exploded with vitriolic and caustic phrases aimed at one person who probably deserved such but not in such a public manner.

That was last week and my god, while I try not to go off in hyperbolic clichés, I’m a bit annoyed and annoyance that I must talk about because it’s driving me batshit insane. I’ve lost something. Not just any something, but something that I love and adore. A beautiful faux crocodile pink clutch that held a pot of Nars lacquer and my portable makeup brush.

Though to many – specifically the men – this may seem banal. But to me OH MY LORD I love that clutch as much as my prized Kate Spade. I adored both the clutch, in all its pink glory, but also my NARS people! My Nars! And it’s so close to fall and would have been the perfect color, but alas it is now missing. Somewhere in the bedroom that time forgot where a dresser is situated smack dab in the middle of the room: A perfect spot for little piggy stubbing.

So there you have it, I’m annoyed. Really annoyed and disappointed.

In the spirit of all things random, I keep pulling what I will now affectionaly call a ‘V’. In which I see things or read about them and suddenly decide that YES! I would make an excellent fashion designer. Pay no mind that the only thing I’ve fashioned is a felt bag and a pillow case in home economics in the 8th grade. I would also make an excellent book reviewer, perhaps for the New York Times and an astronaut. Did I ever tell you about my days of watching A Baby Story and how I was convinced that I would make a most excellent Ob/Gyn even though I failed biology? No? Well there you have it.

HB: dissecting the banal by day, Vera Wang protégé by night. Oh, my next life.


Blogger DivineDiva said...

woman ... you make me choke on my coffee!! I am addicted..except there isn't any rehabs for blogs!!

12:09 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Ummm...sorry..? I don't like making people choke.

I feel like a drug dealer "Here, have some No Pasa Nada" *twitches*

8:27 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Hmm...watching A Baby Story used to convince me that I'd be one most excellent half of a childless couple.

1:03 PM  
Blogger DivineDiva said...

Girl the withdrawls you know when the computers down..
Seriously though I hate losing anything..I just had to get a duplicate license, I am on my 5th in 2 years, I tend to go out with all the girls, and we have WAY too much fun and some how I am missing peices. id, lipsticks,handbags,clutches, you name it , it has been lost. There is probably a collection of lost or mismatched stuff in my laundr room.. which has been named the room- that- will- eat- you -alive or -you -will -be -killed- by- mountians of my clothes and shoes.

5:31 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

I feel your pain. As I read what was lost, I thought, "Which is a greater loss?" I was stumped for an answer because losing any of those individual items would suck but to lose all three at once? Well, that's enough to send any self-respecting woman off the deep end.

11:18 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

Oh my gosh, I would die if I lost a fabulous pink clutch.

Now I think I NEED a fabulous pink clutch for myself.


I hope you find it.

(Dude, I just realized yesterday that I lost my debit card. NOT GOOD!)

9:56 AM  

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