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Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Dear Diary*

*This is your brain. This is your brain on very little sleep.**
**No Pasa Nada: Like a 1987 crack commercial***
***No Pasa Nada: Just say no

“You’ve come this far and I’m still here. Don’t look back. Don’t turn around. Don’t be melancholy now” – JST

Dear Diary,

Today was a generally shitty day. In fact every day is a shitty day even though there’s no need to feel shitty. ‘Holy infatuation, Batman’ to boot.

Also there’s this whole mastectomy business that I still don’t know how I feel about. It’s a lot to process and once I’m done processing I’m sure I’ll be a little more eloquent than “this fucking sucks. Why doesn't anything go well? Woe is me."

And finally, this evening I lived my worst nightmare (which is relative given this whole breast cancer thing): See, this morning I went to work in heels because I had a cab take me so I didn’t have the usual flip flops. I had planned to go to the gym after work. When I got to the gym, I realized I didn’t have a shirt with me, but didn’t want to walk home in heels. So what did I have to do? I had to wear the horror or horrors: the dreaded a-line skirt with adidas and socks look that I’ve managed to avoid for the last 22 years and 10 months. Skirt and sneakers. I practically ran down the street. It could have only been worse if I had been wearing stockings.

So yeah, that was my day. Oh and then I got home and choked on a cracker. Seriously, it was pretty bad and scary. Then I played awkward conversation time with the roommate. Fun as always.

It feels like every time I take two steps forward, I take 47 steps back.
Here’s hoping that tomorrow is better.



Anonymous jonniker said...

Oh dear, I hope tomorrow is better, too. And choking IS scary! it is!

Much love, Heather.

10:32 PM  
Anonymous maliavale said...

I'll drink to that. Here's to tomorrow!

11:21 PM  
Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

Bless your heart.

I hope things are better now!

Oh and the adidas with skirt thing is popular in NYC. Ugly as all heck, but easier on the commute than Jimmy Choos.

6:40 AM  
Blogger sparkles anonymous! said...

I once did the walk of shame in gym shorts and heels.

Don't ask.

As far as choking goes, once I started to choke on a piece of bread, and I jumped up from the table and RAN OUTSIDE, away from all of the 11 people at the table who could have administered the Heimlich or something. I still have no idea what instinct that was that took me over.

9:01 AM  
Blogger Wryter said...

Tomorrow's always better. Even when it rains.

9:11 AM  
Blogger treespotter said...

most of the time, i'm feeling that if tomorrow's better, tomorrow won't blog.

9:36 AM  
Blogger Bone said...

Nice quote.

And next time, we'll need a picture of the skirt and sneakers please :)

10:54 AM  
Anonymous Jennifer said...

I walk to work too, and I just can't do 3/4 mile in heels. Actually, I never wear heels, but I can't do 3/4 mile in any nice shoes. So I rock the cute business outfit with sneakers 2 times a day, five days a week. Sometimes I still look at myself and think, "How did a waitress take over my body?" But in general, I'm over it... and my feet are much happier.

But then again, I was never that trendy to begin with.

10:58 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Thanks y'all!

And that quote happens to be one of my favorites.

Tomorrow I shall post a picture of the bright green North Face raincoat, the a line skirt, and my adidas.

11:07 AM  
Blogger Namaste said...

47 steps back is not a bad thing at all. Just enjoy the view.

Hang in there!

12:29 PM  
Blogger wunelle said...

M&Ms, love. M&Ms.


4:43 PM  

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