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Monday, October 09, 2006

And everybody's a winner

"It's snowing still," said Eeyore gloomily. "So it is." "And freezing." "Is it?" "Yes," said Eeyore. "However," he said, brightening up a little, "we haven't had an earthquake lately." ~A.A. Milne

I’ve felt so utterly and completely blessed lately. Really now, nothing says “Jesus loves me” like spending an hour, counting the gray hairs on my head (four), while sitting on Rock Creek. If ‘beltway’ is from the Latin for ‘parking lot’ then ‘rock creek parkway’ is from the German for ‘cluster fuck.’ And I am what would be from Old English for ‘bewildered’ which would is ‘amazed’ OR A-fucking-mazed that in a city where most of the inhabitants boast a College degree or higher, no one can drive.

But then this is pot/kettle syndrome again, where in Christmas has come early and I am now the proud owner of an additional parking ticket and a speeding ticket – thanks intersection cameras! I also have learned that I can both text message and make a u-turn (sans turn signal) in the middle of Gallery Place, without hitting a pedestrian.

And apropos of absolutely nothing, I will fight and come on get happy, that is if I can manage to get out of my own damn way once in awhile. You see, I would be happy go lucky and feel actually blessed (which I’ve apparently picked to be my word of the day), if I could stop being awful and just let things go without wanting to pull my hair out. Especially those grays, because then two will grow in their place and the last thing I want is a head full of gray.

There’s really no way to end this save to say that I’ve been singing The Gambler all day long and that last night I had a very difficult conversation with a four year old in which she: a) kept touching my face b) would not close her eyes c) mad me realize that I could do this whole parenting thing until bedtime and then I’d have to resort to tequila and I don’t even like tequila (that much) and d) she told me she would give me all of her dollars because she loves me.

And for those of you that think that it might be great to be friends with me, I can tell you that that would be unequivocally 100% true. As evidenced above, having me around makes my friends feel considerably better about themselves. Because one could be Me or one could be Awesome. And awesome , is a far better option.


Anonymous Neil said...

Grey hairs could be sexy on a woman. And all those speeding tickets gives you cachet. You're a rebel!

4:22 PM  
Anonymous alyndabear said...

Grey hairs be a sign of maturity. Therefore, you are mature. Speeding tickets be a sign of, um, bad luck?

Well, dear. I think you're cool.

6:07 PM  
Blogger ducklet said...

ha! i love that quote. in fact, i once wrote a book about financial aid (NERD) and i totally used that quote to open one of the chapters.

thanks for making me smile. and for reminding me that booze can solve all my problems.

7:17 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

Hmmmm. I guess from reading the above comments that I will never be mature since I insist upon dying my greys. Of course when I was your age, I had a lot more than four. So you are already awesome in my opinion.

And the quote? Makes me want to pull out my copy of The Tao of Pooh because it makes everything make sense. Plus some really cool Pooh quotes to boot.

9:06 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

neil: grey hairs can be sexy on some women. I doubt they'll be sexy on me...but we shall see.

alyndabear: wow, both mature and cool. Awesome. Thanks.

ducklet: you're very welcome! and dude, I'm thisclose to going to teqcon. Damn you and your booze!

dagny: the Tao of Pooh? I need one! That is a great quote...

10:05 AM  
Anonymous jonniker said...

Oh man, gray hairs. My whole head, incidentally, is pretty close to gray in that the color (my natural godawful color) is gunmetal, which is so not hot. And so I color it.

But you are a doll, and it is lovely to be friends with you even from this distance, and not because of any of the reasons you just closed with. Don't make me hug you.

10:54 AM  
Blogger Bone said...

Don't fret the gray hairs. Let me pass along some words of encouragement that have not helped me one bit over the years: "Gray hairs make you look distinguished."

I'm 33. You're 22.
I was alive when Spiro T. Agnew resigned. You were negative ten.

There. Better?

Or I could always hum The Gambler.

On a warm summer's eve. On a train bound for nowhere...

5:31 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

jonniker: awww thanks! And you have really, really pretty Lenny-tastic hair.

bone: speaking of Spiro, did you know that on this day in 1973 he resigned?

...I met up with the gambler, we were both too tired to sleep...

7:35 PM  
Anonymous Chookooloonks said...

For what it's worth, I HAVE had an earthquake recently ...
... hope that helps, boo! :o)


9:58 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

The Tao of Pooh explains Taoism using examples from Pooh. When I taught 6th grade social studies and had to try to explain Taoism to the kids, I used the book. Since they loved Pooh, they totally got it.

10:24 PM  
Anonymous Jacynth said...

Grey hairs are awesome. Had my first one when I was 22, now they're sprouting all over the place. I give in. You should too. Embrace the gray!

11:57 PM  
Blogger Lux Lisbon said...

well, i'm living proof that grey hairs are NOT a sign of maturity and more just proof of getting old.

So we took turns a starin out the window at the darkness

4:28 AM  
Anonymous jes said...

When I find gray hairs (and OMIGOSH, there is one going awry RIGHT IN FRONT), I remind myself that the Bible says "Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life." (Prov 16:31)

So. See? See how righteous I am? Filled with splendor?

What? No?

Shut up.

10:43 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

chookooloonks: So what your saying is that there are downfalls to living in Trinidad? Hmm...damn.

dagny: it's been added to my b&n wishlist

jacynth: the cool thing is that all the women in my family start off with a really cool grey streak in the front of their head. So that might be day.

lux: So, I'm getting old! :-( Sad..

jes: ok, that made me laugh. But you are filled with splendor! Promise.

11:35 AM  

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