It’s not like there is a worse feeling than this, but my god, this feeling right now, fucking hurts. Though I should be happy and frolicking around town, my throat has a huge lump in it and I can’t help but sit here and fight off the tears. It’s like being told your worthless and not good enough, without being told such out loud. It’s implied. It’s tacit and without the explicit words I can feel it. I’ve seen people rub their temples or rub the bridge of their nose when overwhelmed and that’s just a coping mechanism: A nervous reaction to this overwhelming sense of stress, sadness and fear. And now all I am left to think is that I’ve gone from being semi-intelligent to purely idiotic. I feel stupid and that trumps all. In a few weeks or months I’ll look back on this and laugh. I’ll have forgotten all about it, but for now, I just hope I don’t cry and will list all of the bed. I’ll dwell and possibly cry even though I know that this doesn’t deserve the tears. Thankfully I'll also reason and rationalize that despite feeling hurt, I'll be damned if I become a cliche.