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Wednesday, December 13, 2006

Because I can*

“The best writing style is the style you don't notice.” ~Somerset Maugham

I’ve become overwhelmingly concerned with the state of Lulu and Jason’s relationship and less on the state of my Christmas list. I mean, will they or won’t they get together? What will happen with Alcazar? How the fuck did I end up in this strange vortex of having to halt all things when General Hospital comes on? GH, notwithstanding there’s avid traipsing around town with various spectacular people and every time I think of spending money above and beyond for my brand new baby, I get hives, because I keep falling asleep to images of BofA’s online banking and my account showing a negative balance all in the name of being able to blog from my bed on something that doesn’t purr and blink and contemplate giving me the blue screen of death. It’s on some serious life support right now and we’re all standing watching and praying that it survives through next week. Then I’ll be more willing to let it go.

When my Uncle asked what I would be doing with my new laptop, I didn’t have the heart to tell him that I’d be using it to blog so I’m sure I muttered something and then put my head down and prayed that he would attack G over something, and lo, he did, in regards to G being an Africana Studies major which is a whole different post about that and his Marcus Garvey love and other fun things. So! Blogging! Yes, I do so and rather fervently and at the beginning it was for my friends and family and then it turned into not just for my friends and family. Which I noticed the other day when seeing Elisa (Of Blogher fame as well) speak and someone came up to me and said “Are you Heather?” and then I promptly shoved my hands in my pockets, despite the 98.4 degree temperature and possibly mumbled yet again, something about how yes, I am Heather. And then you all would be proud, I proceeded to complete a quality 45 minutes worth of conversation with several complete strangers, while utterly (and not all too painfully) sober.

And now is a perfect time to mention that one of the people that I was conversing with had been a clown in a ‘former’ life. Clowns scare me in ways indescribable and to the point that I was once terrified to close the door to my bedroom and have the lights off because one would come in and kill me in my sleep, in fact, I’m sure I was once convinced that all clowns did was lure little children to kill them. Of course this clown was a nice one, and I possibly…you know…maybe I had an incredibly fucked up movie experience as a child and watched It (the Stephen King movie that I would link to via IMDB, if it didn’t sport a picture of a deathly clown right on the front, though I’m not sure of that, but I’d rather not risk it) one too many times.

Anyway, I have a visitor coming this weekend, solely for the purposes of shopping with me. I’m not sure where exactly I found her and did I mention the stellar boot collection that I stole from and then had a coworker tell me how stylish this aforementioned visitor is? Yeah. Anyway, the visitor is coming to take me to Anthropologie, something about me losing weight and being a genuinely fucking fantastic individual has lead her to do such a thing. But! While with her I can dissect the above things and the reasons for why segues are such a tough thing for me to tackle. And of course that whole clown thing.

*This post brought to you by my brilliance to write it yesterday afternoon knowing full well that I would be sporting a massive hangover today. Note to self: The quality of vodka doesn’t necessarily mean a different hangover. In fact right now I have another crazy ass hangover which I can feel in my neck and in my right ear. It’s very odd. I asked someone for a remedy and then realized that I could always just drink less, but that’s silly talk.


Blogger Bone said...

Wow, advance blogging. Good thinking. We at HB & Co. think it's important to plan for your future. Let us help ensure that you always have enough blog entries in reserve, just in case.

By the way, not that I watch the show, but I totally think Jason and Lulu will be hooking up. Just a hunch.

2:08 PM  
Anonymous guinness girl said...

Root beer floats! Best hangover remedy EVER.

3:15 PM  
Anonymous Gooseberried said...

I ordered something online last month from Anthropologie and when it arrived, I noticed that the stitching was completely off. It looked as though someone had hemmed it while intoxicated. I had to send it back and I didn't do an exchange. I've always had these very high opinions of Anthropologie until then. It makes me sad to even hear the word with an ie at the end now.

4:06 PM  
Blogger Lena said...

One word my friend: Gatorade. Something was learned from Blogher after all!

6:02 PM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

Oh, GH. Lucky still doesn't know that Jason is the father of Elizabeth's baby, does he? Muahaha...

6:25 PM  
Anonymous bloggadocio said...

i'm of the Gatorade school of thought, but i'm intrigued by the root beer float concept. Must try.

10:18 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

People it's now 10:24 and I still feel like ass. Grrrrrr. This is annoying and me thinks that it's more than a hangover, given that now my eyes are watering and I have the sniffles. Last I checked, Grey Goose doesn't do that to you.

I'm thinking of doing a post on different levels of drunkeness and/or different levels of hangovers. Or maybe I'll just you know, NOT DRINK. Which is what makes the most amount of sense, but really....

10:26 PM  
Blogger GirlGoyle said... can always have another drink. they say hair of the dog is the best remedy. I have yet to try that...let me know if it works for you.

8:30 AM  
Blogger EDW said...

Drinking more totally works. That's what my mom always taught me!

Love the quote.

9:12 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Ok, drinking more right now sounds terrible. Really terrible. Like last night I was washing a wine glass and the smell of the wine almost made me vomit. This is getting really serious.

9:30 AM  
Blogger Bozoette said...

I promise never to wear my clown makeup around you. Then again, I haven't worn for about 25 years, so it won't be difficult. It was fun to meet you!!

9:35 AM  

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