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Friday, December 08, 2006

Slowly getting there

“Hey! I tell you what I'm gonna give you, Snakes. I'm gonna give you to the count of 10 to get your ugly, yellow, no-good keister off my property before I pump your guts full of lead! One, two, ten!” – Home Alone

First off, I dutifully and immensely apologize for an entire post dedicated to my disdain for vomit, not to mention that I possibly come off as some wretched bitch who finds comforting sick children to be some sort of chore that she is too good for. Which, no. Thusly, I am every sorry for using the phrase “I pushed him away because the puke was dripping off of my clarinet case”. Really, I am so very sorry and I’m still trying to not gag while thinking about it.

Speaking of clarinets, I bought sheet music a few days ago. Have I mentioned that on my list of mundane activities that I enjoy, buying and playing music is up there along with chewing ice, watching my netflix queue slowly dwindle and well, blogging. It’s truly rather risible really, given that my proficiency in music is that of a second grader with a brand new recorder. Though I was first chair of the clarinet section and I can also play the bassoon and bass clarinet and the piano and now I’m realizing that every day I look more and more like the least popular person ever. Anyway, I bought music, I’m going to play music and it puts me that much closer to being into the season.

Speaking of season (are we sensing a theme here with the masterful art of segues?) I’m almost on the brink of giddiness with it all as I have lined up Home Alone and A Christmas Story along with National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation, to watch over the next week to make me all holly and jolly and such. I figured that finding out that I would not be receiving a Bear Bryant hat for Christmas, would damper my spirit, but alas, it has not though I’m generally just blasé and full of ennui as of late.

So now I am a vomit fearing, clarinet playing, arid brat. But one who is sporting leggings of the footless variety and loving it. In the spirit, I’ll be optimistic and say at least I’ve got that going for me.



Blogger GirlGoyle said...

leggings of the footless variety??? Is that like crotchless panties? I'm not sure i know what these footless leggings are.

11:29 AM  
Blogger Heather Anne said...

Keep the change, you filthy animal.

11:37 AM  
Blogger Bone said...

Bringin' the bassoon back. I like it!

And I just wikipediaed bassoon, for some reason.

"Hey, kids. I heard on the news that an airline pilot spotted Santa's sleigh on it's way in from New York City!"
"You serious, Clark?"

11:53 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Girlgoyle: you know those footless tight/legging things that everyone hates? The ones that celebrities wear with like a mini-skirt or something else that should cover the ass, but doesn't... Anyway, those. They're foot less and so I'm wearing them with a skirt and mid-calf boots (with socks) and they're nice and comfy and warm.

Heather Anne: I knew I liked you for a reason

Bone: Again, I knew I liked you for a reason as well. I freaking love that movie.

12:00 PM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

I also thought of buying the footless leggings to wear with boots and socks. I think I (and most people) would look ridiculous if I wore them with flats, but they just look soooo much warmer than regular tights.

12:23 PM  
Anonymous Michelle said...

I so just heard my brother and I chanting that quote in my head. We have that movie memorized! I practically screamed when I saw you had posted it!

Damnit. I didn't think I could love you any more.

12:39 PM  
Blogger changapeluda said...

Let the music Play!

1:22 PM  
Anonymous bloggadocio said...

If this is all true that you love playing music although your proficiency is really that of a 2nd grader w/ a brand new recorder, well then I think I love you (even more).

If this is an example of what they call hyperbole, then I bow my head in admiration of your writing.

3:40 PM  
Anonymous Lindsay said...

Hi! Just wanted to say that I love your blog and that your clarinet playing makes you even cooler in my book. (I'm one, too.)

12:59 AM  
Blogger Namaste said...

so funny, HB. so funny...

2:29 PM  
Blogger Lux Lisbon said...

I was first chair Flute. It was the high point of my life.

5:20 PM  
Blogger Kris said...

I was second chair flute, which clearly makes me inferior and horny.

Did you expose my kids to your bandery? ?!?

And WTF with word verification?

8:18 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Oh, oh! Can we have a Christmas movie quote-off? I would so kick ass.

Have you seen The Ref? Another one of our holiday faves.

9:25 AM  

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