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Monday, January 22, 2007

Crush, redux

"Gravitation is not responsible for people falling in love." ~Albert Einstein

My love life is useless for fodder because it is seriously lacking. Something that I won’t even pretend to mind, because being free to sit in my pajamas and eat all the damn granola I please, is something that I appreciate and possibly need. Lest you want to see me involuntarily call someone a dumb fuck, solely out of annoyance. I’m so good at being single that I think I might do so permanently. She says at the tender age of 23 far away from the ticking of a biological clock.

That being said, the crush that I once mentioned has turned into a confusing sordid affair that I am unsure of. For it was completely unexpected but something that I knew was coming for a long time. How am I to resist the charms of a nice adorable southern boy? That is the question I’ve been asking myself for some time now and the answer is that I cannot. I’ve tried and tried again, but I am unable to.

The unfortunate part is that there have been rumors abound about him and more than enough people hate him. But I don’t know I just can’t help myself. Even when he fucks up at the most crucial moments, I still adore him.

So far, so boring and very ‘yadda, yadda, who gives a shit?’ To wit of course, the sordidness stems not only because of his lack of success (Which doesn’t mean that he didn’t want it enough, but shit happens, but still…), but because his brother has been so very successful. Though equally as disliked by many people, including my closest family and friends, he still has that same southern charm and modesty. And now I’m just so…I don’t know. I don’t know which I like better and which I want more, though for now it seems like his brother might be getting the better of me.

Here’s the kicker, the other week I mentioned my longtime love to my father. He told me that not only does he hate the object of my affection, but he also hates his considerably more successful brother. In fact, el padre, hates the entire family, including the mother.

So, what is a girl to do?


Blogger Bone said...

I gotta say, HB, in this particular situation, I'm on Team Dad.

However, I'm sure it will be slightly easier for you to pursue your longtime love now that he no longer works for the same company as your other longtime love.

10:34 PM  
Anonymous kerrianne said...

Ah, how I have been there. But, alas, I have no advice to offer. Unless you count me suggesting you get a pie and a bottle of wine and turn on a favorite movie. What can I say? I'm a good avoider. ;)

10:44 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Bone: It figures that you would side with my father. And don't get me started on Tiki, because I'm infatuated with his twin brother. My life is so complicatd.

Kerrianne: I'm going to drink some wine now. Two weeks from now, I won't really be focused on either one of them, they'll be a distant memory and hopefully Peyton will be victorious. But that won't lessen my love for Eli.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Lena said...

Mmmm. Sounds compelling. ;) You had me at "sordid".

The funny thing is after you're in the relationship you go back to sitting on the couch eating granola and yelling at the TV.

12:26 AM  
Blogger Eric said...

Well this seems downright Shakesperean doesn't it

8:31 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Lena: I tend to yell at them both through the TV. Especially Eli.

Eric: I know, right? A woman in love with two brothers one a bard the other a barrister. I should write a novel about this.

9:15 AM  
Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

Not everyone will always approve of your love. Just ignore.

10:20 AM  
Blogger mysterygirl! said...

Yes, just because I disapprove of your love doesn't mean that you should quit.

10:56 AM  
Blogger I-66 said...

Because Eli is a crybaby who cried his way out of being signed by San Diego, and also because he plays for the Giants, I dislike him strongly.

Peyton Manning, on the other hand, is the BEST QUARTERBACK IN FOOTBALL and deserves nothing but our praise.

11:29 AM  
Anonymous Gooseberried said...

Haha, this is like me with The Wilderness except there's no brother involved and, my family doesn't know about him. Just my friends...they all hate him.

Feeling better today, thanks. LOL, nah...I just find facebook to be funny. One of these days I'll post something random on your wall and you won't know what hit ya. ;)


11:45 AM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Girl, we all love the bad boy, particularly if they're charming Southern bad boys. They're just addictive and completely irresistable. I've been there, done that and there's no advice I can give you but to enjoy the hell out of it, but beware ;)

And don't you worry about having a love life to make your blog more interesting, you're simply fascinating just being you!

11:58 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Mysterygirl!: A lot of people disapprove of my love. I just can't help it.

I-66: One out of two ain't bad. I never said that Eli was perfect, now did I?

Gooseberried: You mean that The Wilderness is a millionaire quarterback as well?? Crazy.
Glad you're feeling better.

Angela: He's really not a bad boy, he just fucks up...uh...sometimes. And as I-66 pointed out, Eli sometimes doesn't like to do what he needs to do, so that can lead to some problems.

12:14 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

Let's hear more about the crush. Please.

2:15 PM  
Blogger Pink Lemonade Diva said...

hel-lo?! There's always Tom Brady!

3:21 PM  
Anonymous chirky said...

Maybe you should offer to let readers pick your new crush. And then we're bound to go gaga everytime you mention him.

4:13 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Isabel: Uh, he's tall(ish). Lives in NY/NJ area. Multi-millionaire. From Louisiana. Nice guy but prone to interceptions and sacks.

PLD: Now, we don't want me marrying someone I despise, do we? That's like suggesting Tony Romo or something.

Chirky: Hmm maybe. Just as long as it isn't Drew - I'm a lame ass - Bledsoe.

4:25 PM  
Anonymous Glennia said...

Heather B, you are a freaking blogging genius and can crush on anyone you like. Maybe you should not tell dad until, you know, you have a ring (preferably of the Super Bowl variety).

7:32 PM  
Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

You seriously cannot possibly consider loving somson named Eli. I'd give you a pass if he was in anyway attractive, but pass for you.

All I have to say is that Jason Taylor is the finest man in football.

Le sigh.

7:32 PM  
Anonymous laurie said...

Oh lordy but you are right: there is nothing finer than a southern man :)

By the way, I LOVED this line:
"I’m so good at being single that I think I might do so permanently."

5:18 PM  
Anonymous laurie said...

p.s. Also, the Louisiana accent is one of the finest, in my opinion. I am somewhat biased, though.

5:19 PM  
Blogger The Captain said...

Your father is a smart man.

7:35 PM  

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