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Wednesday, January 17, 2007

I can see clearly now

“It isn't the mountains ahead that wear you out; it's the grain of sand in your shoe” - Anonymous

To say that I’ve been in an absolutely horrible mood for the past six months would be an understatement. Something about sleeping on a mattress on my bedroom floor every night since August, probably is what put me in such a sour disposition. But over the past week the clouds have parted and I feel less inclined to be menacing and threatening. Literally almost every night for the past six months – save the moments when I’ve been away and/or sleeping at Kris’ – I’ve had to sleep on my fucking floor. There is nothing worse than going home to sleep on the fucking floor with the fucking laptop that only works when the spirit moves it to do so. A laptop that turns into a desktop attached to a 14 year old monitor that again, only works when you pray over it. Even then I’m pretty sure that the whole thing makes the baby Jesus and I cry.

And now I sleep on an actual bed with a fully functional laptop that makes me want to go home and write and be productive rather than dread writing. You might suspect hyperbole but every second that I spent in my bedroom with the shitty mattress on the floor and the computer that I needed, nay, wanted to write with, but couldn’t, made me a very unhappy person. Given my predisposition to being a bitch, try multiplying that by 114. All of this with a recently cleaned carpet – hell yeah I got that sucker cleaned – with a cute new floor lamp and wall clock and storage thingies that are useless since I just dump shit in there anyway, but at least they match my new area rug.

And I shall dwell in the house of Ikea forever and ever. Amen.

2007 is going to be a good year all because I now sleep on an actual bed like and don’t want to put my fist through the damn computer.

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20 Comments:

Blogger Marci (aka Baby Banana) said...

My still to this day favorite purchase was that of my king size mattress and boxspring. I heart my bed so very, very much. So I feel you on this one. It's oh so loverly.

12:26 PM  
Blogger Johnny said...

a good bed is very important.

for proper 'gettin it ONNNN!'

awww yeah!

:-]

2:59 PM  
Blogger Brunch Bird said...

Everything's Coming Up Heather! (That would be your sitcom's title.)

5:10 PM  
Blogger The Ex said...

No one warned me either!
No one!

Bastards, I say.

5:47 PM  
Blogger Traveling Chica said...

A bed and working laptop are necessary for living a happy life. So even if I don't really like Ikea, I'm you do.

11:30 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Marci: Seriously, these bed things are pure magic.

Johnny: Well that too. Actually friends of mine were helping me move in with my twin bed a year ago and they all made fun of me for having only a twin bed because they only fit one person. Which was MY POINT EXACTLY.

9:14 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Brunch Bird: Very clever! ;-)

The ex: See? That's why I'm doing my part for all of humanity. You're welcome.

Traveling Chica: Wait, people don't like Ikea?? This is news to me. Sure it's overwhelming and full of annoying people who can't understand why I'd flip my shit if their giant ass 'cart' hit my ankle one more time...but you know, it's ikea.

9:18 AM  
Blogger Eric said...

I had to buy a new monitor to hook my to my laptop because I accidently did put my fist through the screen. It takes away from the portability thats for sure. Now I have the worlds skinniest desktop.

10:10 AM  
Anonymous Alison said...

"And I shall dwell in the house of IKEA forever and ever. Amen"

Rock on.

11:02 AM  
Anonymous Jorge said...

I'm glad you figured out the 114 Factor.

Mine is a 342.1 factor, when the moon is in just the right position and I have broken glass poured into the crack of my ass by zombies.

I hate those times.

2:06 PM  
Anonymous Abigail said...

At night before I fall asleep I like to think about what I would buy at IKEA if I had the IKEA credit card. It's probably not a very good habit.

6:07 PM  
Blogger metalia said...

Was it, perchance, this lamp that you purchased from Ikea? Because I've been in love with this little baby for quite some time. Best. Name. Ever.:

http://www.ikea.com/webapp/wcs/stores/servlet/ProductDisplay?storeId=12&langId=-1&catalogId=10101&productId=48214

8:28 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

Your life is sounding wonderful.

9:03 AM  
Blogger Werbie said...

Ikea is Magic.

Also? Craigslist. My whole place is decked out in "good condtn" "bearly used" stuff. Including the 100 lb futon that I convinced my MOM to move 10 blocks with me. She is not a "man with a van."

9:55 AM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

I understand. My first month here was spent in a mattress on the floor and I felt so oddly homeless, with my blankets coming untucked - from being tucked on the floor - and bunching up and freezing my ass (it was December).

When the bed finally got delivered, I felt like I had a home.

1:23 PM  
Anonymous Gooseberried said...

One step forward to a better year!

3:55 PM  
Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

LOVE the Ikea line - very funny!

*waves hi*

8:43 AM  
Blogger Natalie said...

I was fixated on the quote until I saw "Ikea" and my heart melted. Alas, the closest Ikea to me is in Phoenix; a mere 8 hours away... *sigh*

Nuthin' says luvin' like bee bonnet bloggin' direct from a new laptop and a cozy bed.

I have no idea what that means. It just sorta... popped outta my head.

I've decided on five life's comforts that no matter what I will not do without. Good bed, comfortable shoes, real butter, fancy panties, and, of course, the ubiquitous toaster strudel.

As long as I have that goin' on... the rest of the world can kiss my...

:)

12:12 PM  
Anonymous Janet said...

IKEA rocks.

A cozy bed is very important.

1:29 PM  
Blogger CGHill said...

"Actually friends of mine were helping me move in with my twin bed a year ago and they all made fun of me for having only a twin bed because they only fit one person. Which was MY POINT EXACTLY."

I'd say that's a substantial contributing factor to the suckage baseline.

(Like I should talk, right?)

6:40 PM  

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