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Wednesday, January 10, 2007

I love New York

“One belongs to New York instantly, one belongs to it as much in five minutes as in five years” – Thomas Wolfe

I was once convinced that I would live in Manhattan: Another life where I was the US Ambassador to the UN and I would speak Spanish and have an apartment on the Upper East Side and visit Madrid regularly. This was probably about the time that I thought that I would be having children during my 24th year of life, which is pretty soon, remind me to add to my To Do list: get some ass. Also: Have concussion treated.

Anyway, that passed and I stopped naming my children 30 years in advance and have yet to get that concussion taken care of, but I figure that’s what gives me my cute quirky obnoxious behavior. But Manhattan is still one of my favorite places in the world. Especially in the winter, and by winter I mean a balmy day after Christmas during which I contemplate purchasing a tank top as opposed to a turtleneck and find adorable hats to be useless because IT WILL NEVER SNOW. EVER.

People say that it’s magical and gorgeous and there’s that inexplicable feeling that I can’t very well put into words, but I’m convinced that someday I will learn how. My first visit that I can actually remember was about 12 or so years ago, with my parents and brother. We saw the Rockettes and ate hot dogs and Ray’s Pizza, discovered that it is entirely possible to consume a Ruben roughly the size of Djibouti and that cheesecake is the size of my head, that the Saks windows were magical and that I cannot play the piano with my feet like Tom Hanks, but damn I’ll try.

I’ve been asked about that visit before and about my most recent visit to the City, on how awkward it is to have both of my parents go on a trip. Really it isn’t awkward at all and I’ve never been a child that sits around hoping and praying that mommy and daddy love each other again some day. In fact I’d find it more awkward if they did. I actually find it to be a really great blessing as my parent’s divorce saved me from 18 years of standing on crowded subway platforms with one saying “Do we take the A train or the D train?” and the other responding with “OK” and then subsequent eye rolling ensues because clearly coming to a comprehensible decision together without one threatening to push the other onto the dreaded center rail, was never their forte. But they procreated quite well, so I'll give them that.

*In that last picture…yes, my parents are midgets. Midgets who gray and go bald early.

**It’s also de-lurking week. So de-lurk if you’d like. Or you can be a troll and I’ll make fun of you and possibly call you a dumb whore or something equally unintelligent. But if you say hi, I’ll share my secret of drinking a bottle of wine without puking or hangover.



Blogger KassyK said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

11:49 AM  
Blogger KassyK said...

I love NYC but as a New Jersey native that was born in Brooklyn, I find NYC more like home base but I could never live there unless loaded.

Having 90% of my high school friends/college friends/family move to the city and live in crap aptmts with no money for 4 years bc rent is so outrageous just seems like hell to me. (Oh and roaches & mice...even in the "nice" buildings ew)

And plus--NYC is so fucking LOUD. At 9am. On SUNDAYS.

But as a somewhat native--Hey I was clubbing at 16 in NYC--I love it in a different way.

But I do love when out of towners get all caught up in the NYC experience. Its adorable and makes me want to give you all a big hug.


11:50 AM  
Blogger Foodmomiac said...

Michael's parents are divorced and they both joined us on our recent trip. It was very cool. I wouldn't do the same with MY divorced parents, but you are very lucky. :-)

11:59 AM  
Anonymous Stephanie said...

I may not technically be a lurker, but I WANT THAT WINE SECRET!!

Oh, and if you also have a secret that somehow makes the calories consumed in drinking a bottle of wine zero, I'd like to hear that too.

11:59 AM  
Blogger Jhianna said...

I'm a lurker - Hi!

12:06 PM  
Anonymous Gabby said...

Hi from California

Thinking of New York is like thinking of Japan for me. It just seems so far away. Hopefully one day I will be able to go.

I am a big fan of your blog.

Keep up with your bad ass writing.

You truly have talent.

And you are funny too.

I just thought I let you know.


12:49 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Kassy: I forgot that add that I'm from Albany. So it's not like we're from Sacramento. It required a 2 hour train trip and my parents totally didn't try to kill each other somewhere in Yonkers! Awesome!

And don't mention those dreaded things that start with 'M'. I hate them.

Foodmomiac: It's fun. They get along really well because they know that they don't have to see each other again for months.

I forgot to mention how then my father came over for lunch on New Year's Day. And my mother didn't poison him. It was a successful holiday week.

Stephanie: The key is to drink a bottle everyday for a few years. I usually do red, because it's good for you and helps your heart, etc. You eventually build up your tolerance. Once that happens you'll stop with the puking of the wine. And the key to going hangover free is a filet of fish at two AM.

All of the above has like negative calories, because whatever happens when drunk, doesn't count.

Jhianna: HI! Hola! Bonjour!

Gabby: Why thank you. I'd make some smart ass comment about how I have no talent whatsoever, but I'll refrain just this once. Because you're new and that would be rude.

1:13 PM  
Blogger Heather Anne said...

Oh, New York. I love it, too. I have always only been in the winter. And most people can't understand my thick southern accent. And I almost always get overrun by a taxi. And people shout at me a lot.

Still, I love it.

2:09 PM  
Blogger Bone said...

I loved New York, too. And I love that quote. It's so true, at least in my case.

How does a city do that?

3:29 PM  
Anonymous Sweet said...

Girl, the next time you go, ya gotta let me know. Since I lived there for a couple of years, I can name some great (non-touristy) places for you to check out!

4:09 PM  
Blogger green3 said...

First of all, I've never been to NYC but it's definately on my to-do list.

Secondly, I love your comment about your parents' divorce. If only all children of divorced families could feel that good about their parents.

Third, I read often but comment rarely. LOVE YOUR BLOG! You'd be an awesome "real life" friend to have, I'm sure.

4:21 PM  
Blogger Isabel said...

Do not call me a dumb whore.

And for the record, I heart NYC. I want to move there.

4:23 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

De-lurking because I can't remember the last time I commented here and I don't want to be a dirty whore.

New York looks like a fabulous place to visit, although I doubt I would like to live there. Someday I do hope to at least get to check it out.

5:04 PM  
Blogger Dee said...

***or a dumb whore either

5:05 PM  
Anonymous Married Jen said...

Hi From AZ! Never been to NY...

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Well, I don't love New York, but I really like it! Specifically, I really like shopping and Broadway. So, I'll continue to visit, buy things, and see plays, then go home to my quiet peaceful house in the burbs!

5:07 PM  
Anonymous Spazzberry Beret said...

It's the Goldschlager I need help with, not the vino. Loving your post, as always.

5:13 PM  
Blogger Ryane said... nailed it!! New York is sublime...and, cheesecake the size of dinner plates doesn't hurt either.


6:32 PM  
Blogger Ween said...

De-lurking! Even though I don't share the love of NYC...I'm an LA girl all the way. Not enough space in the Big Apple for me. Also: cold. I left the East Coast eight years ago for a reason.

Pasadena is lovely in January.

And next time I drink a bottle of wine I'm going for a filet o' fish. Does that make me a smart whore?

7:23 PM  
Blogger KassyK said...

Yes, I HAD forgotten you were from Albany!! I feel like thats prob how Philly is for me...Ive been a bunch of times and its close enough to not be "far" but its a schlep enough that its a "trip" still and I can enjoy it that way.

I am so proud of you with no fighting on a TRAIN ride. And I promise...NO MORE M words. So sorry. BBBBAh.

7:33 PM  
Blogger EDW said...

Is it really delurking week, or did you just make that up? Because I'd hate to miss Official Blog DeLurking Week and thus be unable to call out all lurkers.

Oh, and I love NYC.

12:03 AM  
Blogger SUEB0B said...

I don't need to delurk so much, since I am a copious commenter. And I really don't needthe bottle of wine secret because half a bottle is my limit, honest.

But you can call me a whore if you want to, because it reminds me of Jennster.

12:36 AM  
Anonymous Dink(y) said...


12:46 PM  
Anonymous chirky said...

I've never been to NYC, but have always wanted to go. I'm slightly jealous of you!

4:05 PM  
Blogger Werbie said...

Delurking to say HEYYYYYY from NYC... I live on the Upper East Side and am loving it! We graduated the same time from college and I love reading your blog because I can relate so much. Next time you're in the city, give us a heads-up!

12:21 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Ok, had I known that this many people actually lurked (and there are probably more in the shadows) I would've threatened calling you all dumb whores, a long time ago.

Oh and Ashley I told approximately three people that I was even in New York State. But I think next time I go up it will be without family and I will email everyone I know in the area and tell them that I will be there and to have a bottle of Syrah ready for me.

12:36 PM  
Blogger Jen said...

Not really a lurker, though I've seen your blog a few times. However, you de-lurked on my blog and explained your recent comment on Amalah's blog, so I feel inclined to comment back. Thanks for clarifying all that "I'm first" business. Although, you admit that it's ridiculous, right? It's like she's a celebrity and has groupies, when in reality, she's just a real person. I don't get that. Anywho ... thanks for the comment, and I'll be back!

8:44 PM  
Blogger Liz said...

Please share secret. Also, I will admit that while NYC is very exciting, it completely overwhelms me. I don't know how my brother and sister do it.

7:55 AM  
Blogger Debbies Site said...


I have only just found your site because you wrote a comment on Amalehs website which I followed to your site. I shall now stalk you and read everything you have ever written(because I am like that). I love New York too, but it is a little scary for someone from the UK. I would love to see New York with a native and do all the things that only natives know how to do! Every time I have been there I have done all the touristy things, but it seems everyone is so BIG and so BUSY!! Stll, it is a great place. Have you been to London??

Debbie in the UK

2:46 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Jen: Given that I know her in real life, I am more than well aware that she's a regular person. Glad we're on the same page though.

Liz: It overwhelms me too, that's why I chose DC over NYC. It's smaller and more compact and one can easily flee to the suburbs for a Target at a moment's notice.

Debbies Site: I've actually never been to London. I've been to Europe enough times, but for some reason I've never really wanted to go to London. Maybe one day I'll change my mind.

2:49 PM  

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