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Saturday, March 17, 2007

Feel for me

“No man needs a vacation so much as the person who has just had one.” ~Elbert Hubbard

As I recall, last year, Marci returned from Boca Raton exhausted. And I thought well, that’s a load of bullshit, boo fucking hoo. Go cry in a corner you tan whore.

Then I went back to my lame ass life to cry on my bed about how the world and Jesus are out to get me and if this isn’t Hell, then I don’t know what is.

While it seems highly incredulous and baffling, it is entirely possible for one to completely tire of South Florida. With the sun and perfect weather and pristine beaches and shit and the looking up in the sky and finding it mystifying that it could be snowing enough somewhere to cause flight cancellations because the Sun is fucking shining.

Marci’s ditched me in Florida, where I am ‘stuck’ until Monday to wallow in my sadness of being ‘trapped’ at a five star resort to tan.

But I swear on my life, if I see one more motherfucking Bentley (not mine) or Ketel One and tonic (most certainly mine) I’m going cry. I’m going to cry the real tears of horror and sadness that one cries upon realizing that she might have to go to the spa. Again.

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16 Comments:

Blogger Growing Up said...

This is me having ABSOLUTELY no sympathy.
~dionna

9:42 PM  
Anonymous dionna said...

Ok, and the whole blogger/google thing? I JUST DON'T GET IT. GAWD.

9:44 PM  
Anonymous alyndabear said...

Boo fucking hoo indeed! Heather, you cow, I want to be on vacation!

11:55 PM  
Anonymous Jorge said...

That's why I come here.
It's because of all the love and positivity.

:)

8:27 AM  
Anonymous Alison said...

Ooh. Have a vodka tonic for me. Or a bloody mary. Then go get a massage or something.

8:59 AM  
Anonymous Lila said...

I hope there's a hurricane or similar tropical storm. Really, I do.

10:45 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

So I'm assuming that absolutely no one feels bad for me?? Tears. I'm now on my way back north and now I'm shedding the real tears of someone who has to go to work in the morning instead of making the really difficult decision of beach or pool cabana.

4:24 AM  
Blogger Lux Lisbon said...

For christ's sake! Snap out of it! Seduce a pool boy.

5:33 AM  
Anonymous nabbalicious said...

Haaaaaaaaate!

8:26 AM  
Anonymous Em said...

HOpe you enjoyed it while it lasted ... despite the tears and whatnot.

8:58 AM  
Anonymous Marci said...

Told ya. There is no sympathy for someone forced to stay in Boca Raton for a week. You've officially joined the ranks now.

BTW, just for the record, tan I will never be.

11:09 AM  
Blogger Buggie said...

I was going to comment on the tan whore thing. I was all, Marci? Tan? Was she hanging out with a different banana down in FLA?

I don't feel sorry for you either, except for the cost, because ouchie! Oh, and the overabundance of blinding pink and old women silicone.

4:44 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Contrary to popular belief, Marci does not tan while in Boca. In fact, I don't think that Marci saw the sun once.

But I do in fact have tan lines.

5:14 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

Truly a sad tale you have told. I came close to shedding a tear myself.

8:07 PM  
Blogger Gooseberried said...

Haha, you're funny. That's my positive comment.

Other than that, shut up bitch. I hate those that can take va-cay-cay-cays.

9:56 PM  
Anonymous chirky said...

This is me.

Rolling my eyes at you.

3:59 PM  

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