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Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Slippery slope

"The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting." ~Dave Barry

Tuesday morning I prepared for work as I would any other day. Including getting up and out by 6 AM so that Fergie could spell ‘delicious’ and ‘glamorous’ out loud for me while I trudged along on the elliptical, a shower and then off to work. The only difference being that I left my keys on the dining room table for my guest: Schnozz.

Growing up during the AOL chatroom era wherein we kept the IBM laptop weighing in at a hefty 27.8 lbs in the middle of the kitchen so that El Madre could peak over pre-teen shoulders to make sure there was no A/S/L going on with some 38 year old posing as a 16 year old. For the internet was a scary, scary place full of pedophiles and stalkers, thusly I was raised to believe that the only people using the internet were balding white men between the ages of 45 and 65 and teenagers using fuchsia for inside jokes on their AOL profiles. I did at one point learn the hard way that the internet was and could be a terrifying place, complete with raging lunatics, but for awhile there it was ‘la dee daa’ and the whirring sounds of dial up.

Some 11 years later, I get an email from Schnozz - someone whose existence I’ve been aware of since November - that she will be flying through Dulles and my only trepidation is that my bedroom looks like the Titanic dining room but without the water and Leo’s baby blue eyes to stare at over the immense piles of debris. Other than that I told her to come on down without a single thought of fear or worry save for the fact that she might tell the internet that I snore loudly and shed enough hair to cause the average shower drain to clog on a regular basis. This is probably a bit of an improvement from most bloggers I meet, for I always fear greatly that I will either pass out or vomit or a lovely combination of both.

A sordid experience ages ago left me somewhat terrified of the internet and yet now I find myself blogging endlessly while willingly befriending and vodka tonic-ing with people whose last names I don’t even know and all without that gut feeling that someone is going to kidnap me and sell my internal organs and pearls to the highest bidder. For there is the 41 year old republican who said “I’ll be in DC for work, lets drink” and so we did and we have ever since, each time even more hilarious than the last. There’s my neighbor whose keys I have who has no problem with me running to her apartment for safety at the sight of a tiny mouse. Then there is the infamous one who leaves me with her child with nary a second thought. When I mention these occurrences to those who have made the very wise decision not to broadcast their every thought to the internet, they give these incredulous looks and find it all very abnormal. Which I’m sure it is on some level and of course I still am fairly wary, yet there is still this odd sense of comfort and lack of uncertainty; for am I the only person who finds most bloggers to be fairly normal so of course I'll hang? Is it OK to say to a virtual stranger Of course you may sleep on my couch and eat my food and drink my wine and prance around with my panties on your head! Why Not?!



Anonymous Leah said...

I know some bloggers better than I know my own family. I even trust some of them more. That's gotta mean something, right? RIGHT?

7:08 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Oh man, DITTO.

7:34 PM  
Blogger EDW said...

One of my favorite people in the whole world is from my blogging life. Weird, maybe. Lucky, yes.

9:41 PM  
Anonymous gorillabuns said...

i would even trust some of my fav bloggers to watch my kids while i went down the street to the local bar. however, i don't trust my mother-in-law in this instance.

11:11 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

Well, I think I've said enough about my family to give you a pretty good idea whom I might trust more.

12:13 AM  
Blogger GirlGoyle said...

I'm ok with it all except for you wearing my panties on your head. There I draw the line!

6:03 AM  
Anonymous em said...

I long for the day when my "blog friends" find themselves in my neck of the woods! HOw cool is that?

7:32 AM  
Blogger Heather Anne said...

Yes! Some of my best buddies in the world are bloggers! Plus, you can troll through people's archives. That's where you find out if they're crazy. Come to Georgia, Heather B!

8:58 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

Seriously, y'all, I often find myself spending more time with bloggers than my other friends. Which is interesting to say the least. On the one hand it seems natural that things have evolved this way. On the other, I did have a slew of friends well before blogging and I find myself missing events with them because a blogger wants me to go drink with them.

Of course either way, my friends are my friends, it's just odd that a good number of my favorite people in the world, I happen to have met on the internet.

10:56 AM  
Blogger Liz said...

Blogging is almost like the friend version of a dating service- you're attracted to a blog because you like the writer's style, personality, sense of humor, etc, and end up making a connection because of it.

Have fun, and just make sure the panties are clean.

8:57 AM  
Blogger mist1 said...

I love Fergie. She has taught me how to spell.

4:34 PM  

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