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Thursday, March 08, 2007

Reason #357 for self medication

"Many of our fears are tissue-paper-thin, and a single courageous step would carry us clear through them." ~Brendan Francis

I’m sure that when I announced that I was leaving on a jet plane yesterday, you all assumed that it was to somewhere fabulous. Alas it was only a night in Albany. During which I indulged in Fridays and Friendly’s, because that’s just how I roll.

Returning home just now, I decided to try on a brand new dress from Anthropologie. My rule when dealing with my body, is quite simple: If I can wear clothing from Anthropologie with ease, then it’s all good. The end.

I began glancing at myself in the mirror. Sticking my hands in the side pockets and twirling. When out of the corner of my eye….and I’m loathe to write this…I see a dark spot on a sticky mouse trap in the corner of my closet. I step closer, over the massive pile of clean clothing and there they are. THEY. THEY. THEY. TWO WHOLE MICE.

Just laying there. In the fetal position. One probably got caught and then the other probably came to save its best friend. Which makes me revisit that whole being there for my nearest and dearest thing. One could die in the process.

In lieu of actually picking up the trap with the advised three plastic bags and a broom theory (courtesy of my brother and my pal), I’m sitting here with a rum and coke. Two and half shots of rum to be exact. I’m partly sad for the little critters and partly disgusted beyond belief that they are laying in my closet just dead. And I’m in a fleece and my dress and some Uggs.

Suddenly I remember the quick effect that rum and coke has. It’s powers are magical and I almost don’t remember the reasons for why I stopped partaking in the rum. But I’m sure I will in the morning.

Speaking of drinking and uh randomness….Shamrock Fest this weekend! DJ AM, Carbon Leaf, Flogging Molly at RFK and me drunk and busting out the Irish in me while retelling this story! People, y’all don’t even know the debauchery and fun that is about to ensue.

I promise more fun and excitement than mice in a closet.

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Anonymous whoorl said...

My father has a saying, "Just say yum to rum".

He's a brilliant man, you know...

9:09 PM  
Blogger Jay said...

Ohmigod, I'm going to have the sad willies for days.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Suebob said...

You are a party all by yourself.

9:05 AM  
Anonymous LisaBinDaCity said...

At least your life is never dull?


9:06 AM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

whoorl: Suddenly I love rum again. So I can add that to the long long list of things I will drink.

jay: Oh well great, ME TOO. Everytime I close my eyes, I can picture them...dead. shudder

suebob: Yeah I know. I try.

lisab: That's one way of putting it. I'm going to try and forget about it...

9:33 AM  
Anonymous Gooseberried said...


2:34 PM  
Anonymous Leah said...

What color is the dress?!

3:20 PM  
Blogger Heather B. said...

gooseberried: That's exactly how I felt. Thus the rum. It ended up being quick and painless.

leah: It's white...and fits beautifully. I'll take pictures of it while I'm in Boca.

4:44 PM  
Anonymous Angela said...

Oh. My. God. Ewwww! Dead mice!!! Man, I almost feel the need for a rum and coke after just *reading* that.


Cute dress though, so that's a plus!

6:55 PM  
Anonymous Marci said...

I hate you.

That dress is too fucking cute.

7:00 PM  
Blogger Dagny said...

Love the dress. I may have to get that one for myself in blue. And here I was trying to figure out what I was going to do this weekend. Simple. Head to Anthropologie.

As for the mice, I feel your pain. I was once greeted to one (dead) on the stairs at my mom's house. No trap. Just mouse. I think it took me an hour to get the thing up by using a broom, dustpan, and big paper bag.

And of course now all I can think is that the first one was squeaking to his friend and it would be translated as, "Mouse down! Medic!" Because I'm big on personification.

7:28 PM  
Anonymous CGHill said...

That is one seriously lovely dress.

10:24 PM  
Blogger Heather said...

Just to further emphasize the wonderful dress; it has pockets. POCKETS.

The end.

One day I'll show y'all the amazing things I've bought from anthropologie. I love that place.

11:37 PM  
Blogger inowpronounceyou said...

I hear the word "Albany" and I get homesick...not for Albany, but for Bennington, VT. It's only like an hour away, and we used to go see whatever bands were coming in Albany all the time.

And, as if Bennington didn't bring back enough Memories...Friendly's? I'm going to be craving a Reeses Pieces Sundae all damned night.

4:26 PM  
Anonymous Gooseberried said...

Where are you staying for the conference? I'm a newbie, so just wondering where everyone's going to be.

9:57 PM  
Blogger Susan said...

That dress is fabulous. Pictures of it on you, please.

And i'm going to pretend I didn't read about the mice, okay? Okay.

10:07 PM  

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