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Monday, May 07, 2007

The time has come

“And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.” – Max Ehrmann

Last night after a whirlwind tour of Georgetown that included Café Bonaparte, Paolo’s and Café Milano, I cried. No, I sobbed. I sobbed in such a way that the girl walking in front of me down M Street, turned around while I was on the phone with my mother, to ask if I was OK. Because apparently someone bawling outside Sephora is unusual. I should have told her that they didn’t have my blush color and that just pissed me off a bit.

The good thing about mothers is that they know just the right things to say and to do, even if you are doing the whole shoulder shake sob thing from 400 miles away. As my mother gently reminded me that I don’t do change well. I actually find change to be some awful act of God in retaliation for all of those times I lied about who stole all the quarters out of the family ‘treat jar’. Or perhaps it’s because of that time I drove to the mall, well before I got my license. I lied about that too.

I thought I was badass and deciding to quit my job in search for something else was taken rather lightly. An outer body experience or something that told me that it was perfectly OK to uproot my life from my best friends and move to a place where it snows from October to April. A place where no one knows what the fuck ‘table service’ means and the closest Trader Joe’s is in Scarsdale. But really, I was handling it all quite well. And my mother even said that I could live with her forever so that I could keep my apartment down here. I really think that tears are the best way to a mother’s soul or at least the best way to get my mother to say something that she’ll find really regrettable by next Tuesday.
I needed a good cry. That’s all. It’s a lot – more than a lot and in combination with other huge changes – to take in and absorb and to be OK with. One of those changes, though not nearly as monumental is this site. It has moved. To here: http://nopasanada.org

It’s .org because .com and .net were taken. And much like I treat people who tell me that it snows in Albany, if you tell me that I am not an organization, I’ll punch you in the baby maker. Obviously there hasn’t been too much change.

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Friday, May 04, 2007

The long goodbye

"Be well, do good work, and keep in touch." ~Garrison Keillor

I’m currently holed up in my house drinking fruit punch out of a plastic Front Page mug. I swear that each and everyday I get more and more classy and this, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason for why the boys are falling all over me.

Slowly I’m preparing myself for the inevitable and yet it doesn’t seem all that real yet. I’ll be seeing friends up until my departure. And thus far my friends – nay, family – have wined and dined me and plan to do so until my departure. It’s amazing what suddenly leaving can do. Everyone wants to do drinks and dinners. I’ll even be imbibing the fermented drink on the Lord’s day, that’s what my schedule has become. Thus I’ve woken up every morning of the past week with a hangover.

My only question is why no one wants to come over midday and sit and watch Little Children while I fold my laundry and find bills from 2004?

Another question, how does one show sincerest apologies to their liver? Do flowers work? A nice and well thought out card with masterful prose as to the wonder and lovely thing that it is? Or shall I just appreciate it a little better and be kinder? That always helps.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Not just a river in Egypt

"This isn't a conversation about this being over. I'm not like, putting a period at the end of this. I'm putting like... an ellipsis on it."-Andrew Largeman

After one year, ten months and five days today is my last day at work. I'm not sure whether to laugh or cry but for now it's quite odd how I'm just going through the day as if it's like any other day. I might actually be in denial. I've been to the gym, I'll get ready, walk to work, get tea and it will be just like every other morning. At the end of the day though, it won't be a simple 'see you in the morning, HB.'

Actually I lied, I'm pretty sure I might cry.

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